Look what I did! I not only made people, but I made Jewish people, just by being born Jewish thirty-some-odd years ago. I’m so proud of myself and my Jewish-people-making abilities. And my husband, he helped. He made them, too. And he made them half-Jewish, simply by being a Gentile. Good job, us! Mazel tov!
So now we’ve got two kids, a baseball team’s worth of grandparents (thanks to some happy remarriages), and the December holidays upon us. For the most part, this is twice the fun. But let us not deny the most anticipated aspect of the holidays: presents. Stuff. Wrapped packages. New toys. Baby GAP gift receipts.
You know the place, Holidayinsanityville,
population: everyone you know.
Is it even possible to control the flow of gifts so that I get to buy my children things that we want and need, while graciously receiving from other well-intended gift givers AND simultaneously avoid either or both of the following: an overstimulated, ungrateful three-year old son and an infant daughter with more clothes than she could ever wear (even at the current spit-up-amplified pace of three costume changes per day)?!
Maybe control is the wrong word. I like to buy my children things that I like or that they’ll like. I like to wrap their presents and stuff their stockings. I like to pick out the clothes they’ll be wearing next year. I don’t want to back off because others want to do it for me.
Enter the Grandparents. Some of them just do Hannukah. I know they’ll be sending us 8 gifts per kid.
And the other grandparents. They do Christmas. They can’t control themselves. They do not give one or two gifts to each grandchild. My estimate would be more like four or five. Plus us. We like to give our children gifts for Christmas. And why not? This is one of the best parts of having kids, isn’t it?
But next week I also would like to give nightly gifts to my kids. They’re MY kids and it IS Hanukkah. I don’t think the tradition is “no gifts from Mommy and Daddy.” Julian’s getting a Slinky, some Hannukah stickers, and some new socks. I’ve already bought Scarlett two pacifiers, some links to connect stroller toys, and some spoons for tasting her first food. These are not extravagant, crazy gifts. It’s just a lot.
So there’s the upcoming week of Hannukah with two small (we hope!) gifts per night, and then, three weeks later, Christmas, with god knows how many presents. Anyone have a plan for controlling this situation?
I worry that each gift does not get appreciated because it gets set aside in order to open something else. It all becomes a waste and an over-the-top display of abundance.
Am I nuts? Do I sound ridiculously ungrateful? Controlling? Would love to hear your thoughts.
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As a half-Jewish gal who married a full-blooded Jew, I can only tell you my experience, which is colored by the fact that neither of our families are really into excessive gift-giving.
Growing up, we celebrated Chanukah primarily…We’d usually get one gift a night, but sometimes two. Most of them were practical stuff: long underwear, a sweater, maybe some barrettes.
We hung regular socks on Christmas Eve (never “stockings”) and my parents filled them with hotel toiletries, an orange and some chocolate. Then we’d open a few presents from my Christian grandparents.
For the past three years we’ve only celebrated Chanukah with our daughter, but now that she’s getting serious Santa propaganda from school, I may campaign my husband to let her hang up a sock!
Maybe it’s scrooge-like of me, but I feel there’s nothing wrong with holding back some of the gifts until a month or two later. i confess I did that with my daughter’s 3rd birthday presents.
We have this problem too. In addition to Hanukkah and Christmas, we have Persian New Year (in March) when my kids get gifts from my husband’s entire extended family (and it’s a big family).
I haven’t really figured out how to stem the tide, though creating a wishlist on amazon helped us get a better ratio of toys that get used vs. put away.
Like Marketing Mommy, after they’ve been opened & everyone says thank you, I put away some of the toys to come out on a rainy day. When we bring it back out, I remind my 2 1/2 year old who gave it to him and when. Often we’ll call and say thank you again.
We also leave some at each of the grandparents houses so that the kids have something to play with while they are there.
I totally agree with the PP — reserve some of the gifts. When my DD was 3 I was in the hospital having my DS and believe you me we stretched out the gift giving for a solid 2 weeks. We have actually done this every year, and are super flexible about when gifts are opened. Sure, it’s over the top, and yes, it’s a zillion presents, but it feels better when they are opened only 1-2 a day. Also, after assessing the haul from other relatives I held back lots of ours (for her bday in April).
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