Momoirs of a Rookie Mom

I named my son Holden. Ok, Alec and I together named our son Holden. We liked the sound of it. Alec goes by a derivation of his middle name and really hoped to avoid that fate for our son. He spent all his school years correcting teachers and substitutes about what to call him.

The problem is that we had no forethought. We didn’t imagine how a young, articulate 3 year-old might pronounce his own name for well-meaning adults asking the innocent, “what is your name?” question and we certainly did not plan ahead for when we had a younger, less-articulate one-year old struggling to pronounce his big brother’s name.

Milo says “Oldie” when he wants his brother. Then again, Milo calls me and Alec both “MommyDaddy” or “DaddyMommy” so we probably shouldn’t go by him.

When grown-ups inquire, he might say “Holden” (sounding a little like “Olden” “Alden” or “Eldon) or he might say one of his recent nicknames given to him by his BFF at school, Miles (AKA Boo). They have named each other:

• Pachacho (always said to strangers with remarkable clarity, making it seem like I must have kidnapped this child if I insist on calling him something odd like Holden)
• Chicken Coop (again, pronounced clearly and distinctly, making strangers wonder why my kid is such a liar)
• Rhinoceros Goat (said well, but leaves people wondering if they’re mishearing a complicated family name)
• and now, inexplicably Flippy Cup (and we’re back to making little old ladies think I’m raising one adorable, shaggy haired liar).

During these phases, they call each other the chosen name and create a little exclusive club of 3 year old hilarity. It’s Flippy Cup that has me both scratching my head and declaring his hilarious imagination. I don’t know why Rhinoceros Goat didn’t strike me as funnier at the time.

Do any of your preschoolers answer only to a bizarre self-invented nickname?

When you have a new baby, you really should never admit if your kid is a good sleeper. Admitting that will make other parents hate you (or mistrust you, or both) and it will certainly jinx your child to a few nights of turning you into a liar.

This is also true if your baby is a good eater (breastfeeding easy? toddler not picky? keep it to yourself!).

And when potty training begins, it is true of the the potty. Kid sleeps in undies? Never wore a pull-up? No accidents out in public? Keep that to yourself or only admit it in some private online chat room where you don’t use your real kid’s name or face.

Hopefully — because I’m talking about the past and making no prediction of future success — I can tell you a few things about Potty Training.

Once Upon a Potty was an instrumental book for us. It’s practically the gold standard of potty training kid lit. Holden liked it a lot. We read it A Lot. At the time, my only wish was that it was a board book because of all the wear and tear it got. Now, it is out as wipe-clean board book and we love it even more!

It comes in separate “Girl” and “Boy” edition so that each child can identify the cartoon versions of their own parts. There is also a helpful author note at the beginning that suggests you sub in whatever words you use at home (for parts and ummm #1 and #2).

Last week, we also received a copy of the audio cd. It includes a reading of the book and some related potty songs. I think this would be great to have in the car when you want to reinforce the message without reading it over and over and over. Holden responded to the cd with unexpected enthusiasm. He told me that not only does he like it, but he wants to start hearing it all the time. I’m sure when Milo begins flirting with our potty, we’ll be hearing it more and more.

Thanks to Parent Bloggers for sending me a fresh boy edition for my little guy and an anatomically appropriate book for Scarlett.

For some reason, when I had a new baby (Holden 3 years ago), all my old church camp songs came flooding back into my head. When he was fussy, I would go to “this little light of mine” out of some long-suppressed instinct.

When Milo was fussy, I turned it up a notch and busted out with “Do lord, oh do lord, oh do remember me (oh lordy), do lord…” and when that got to be a little too well, church camp for my taste, I started switching up the lyrics. I’d sing about whatever was nearby or whatever was on my mind to the same soothing tune such as “Alec, when will youuuuu return from this bike ride (oh lordy) return return return from this ride… ” or “Warm and hold oh hold the warm and hold… hold the warm…” (sung lovingly to my oven’s warming feature).

Whenever either of the boys would get the old “this little piggy” treatment, I always switch around the roast beef to something else: vanilla milkshake, broccoli, tofu, or whatever was on my mind.

Ok, than you for this bizarro journey into my brain. Why am I telling you this?

The Parent Bloggers are inviting us to join the contest to rewrite the “beans beans, musical fruit” jingle and I’m pretty sure I can do that considering all the lyrical silliness that abounds in my house. But before I use brain for that, I want to tell you a true story from yesterday.

I was trying to show off to my husband that Holden, at age 3, knew a little about the presidential race. Holden said something like “Obama” so I asked him, “what is Obama’s first name?” and Holden answered confidently, “Barack.”

Pushing my luck a little, I asked if he knew who was president now. He answered, even more confidently, “Bush Beans.” Because we have a picture of President Bush in the garden alongside the plant for Bush Beans… that’s what he thought.

——————————

What songs get stuck in your head to the point that you sing them to your kids? I told you mine for this weekend’s PBN Blog Blast, sponsored by Bush’s Beans.

It started innocently enough. When Holden was about 17 months old, the daycare suggested that pull-up pants (read: sweatpants) are much easier for potty training kids, so I started buying only those.

I still have a preference for good-looking kids clothes. For tops, I like solids, simple patterns, funny screen prints (of robots, dinosaurs, kitschy funny things), and all the trendy snazzy clothes that Julian sports. And each boy still has at least one or two pairs of (contraband) pants with buttons and zippers and some jeans.

But all my “good intentions” fly out the window when they go to preschool. Between water play, mud play, rolling in sand, sloppy eating, and pee accidents, they very seldom come home in the clothes they went to school in.

Whenever they choose their own clothes at school, both Holden and Milo invariably pick flowers, pink, and purple in all combinations.

It’s funny seeing them all decked out in pink if only because I realize that they could easily pass for girls with their pretty little faces. Is that so wrong?

——-
This momoir on the fabulous wardrobe choices of my sons was brought to you by a blog blast hosted by Polly Pocket and the Parent Bloggers

Let sleeping dogs lie, right?

And never wake a sleeping baby, right?

Whitney gives us some excellent tips on photographing those angelic fall-asleep-anywhere newborns, but since I don’t currently own one of those models, I had to try a different approach.

About an hour after bedtime (7:15ish is bedtime around here), I tiptoed into Holden and Milo’s bedroom and put the dimmer on very low. This is a common routine for me. I love to watch these boys sleep. It is precious to me… an antidote to some of the frustrations and fits that occur naturally throughout the day.

Anyway, I was sneaking and quiet and DIM when I decided to USE MY FLASH to take their pictures. Seems dumb, right? Yes probably. My sons go to sleep fairly well most nights and sleep well throughout the night (the last two nights being exceptions because I was caught bragging about these facts).

They are not like Julian.

Whitney’s son, Julian, can be picked up, dragged, hands dipped in water, buckled, unbuckled, sat upon, or drawn on and he will not wake up! He is really just asking for it once he gets to college.

This is funny to me because… Whitney’s son would not wake up if she were to take a picture of him sleeping with full flash. But Whitney’s visual aesthetic would never permit such a picture.

With my kids, I was playing with fire. But I did it anyway, and they didn’t wake up. And I love these pictures of their precious sleeping moments. I only wish they didn’t have the broad-daylight-flash thing going on.

—-
This silly photo adventure was inspired by Sam and her rookie moms weekly challenges! My choices were:

Activity #18: Take a Picture of your Sleeping Child

Activity #34: Rub Your Baby Down with a Message

Activity #69: Sleep Late

Take the challenge with us and win a little prize (maybe) and the chance to do something a little different (for sure!).

For some odd reason, even when I have a newborn of my own and I see another one, my heart gets all ooey gooey and I melt and want to pick it up and love it and squeeze it. I assume it’s a biological imperative that makes new babies so loveable and delicious (despite their appearances as plucked poultry without neck control) to ensure the survival of the species.

When my baby brother (now 24) tells me that he wants four kids — I say “yay! (at least it’s not me)” and when Uncensored Kristen and Wild Rebecca each add to their brood with a third and a second respectively, I wish we all lived close enough that I could hug and squeeze the new babies before sending them home with their newborn screams.

Hmmm, as part of a collective bloggy baby shower, we’re reminiscing about those sweet cuddly baby days. Here are the things I do miss:

• Sweet little hands and feet
• Squishy kissable cheeks
• The softest skin ever invented
• The ability to fall asleep anywhere, even upright (him or me!)

When you’re bringing a newborn into a home with a young child (or two!), it’s amazing to see how far that they’ve come as children and you’ve come as a parent. The big one(s) went from being your little guy one day to being a teenage-size monster overnight. Good luck with that!

Milo at 19 months is two months younger than Holden was when we brought him home, and I’m obsessed with that little fact. But enough about me… And I won’t go into the things I don’t miss, the things that are hard or culture-shocking or confusing (the whole rest of this site is dedicated to that), I’ll just wish these fine ladies and all families expecting to add more members the very best of luck.

Take lots of pictures!

For more bloggy shower love, visit shower.mothergoosemouse.com

For those seeking more toddler advice from us, here’s the piece that goes with this picture: when you take your toddler camping, instead of s’mores, just a plain graham cracker will do. They will be none the wiser and you will save yourself from cleaning sticky marshmallow and chocolate off of fingers and hair.

Next, do you noticed the tremendous size difference between these two kids? They are four months apart. Do you think there’s any chance in hell that Scarlett will be Milo’s size in four months? Looks like not.

Of course there was a notable difference when Scarlett was born and Milo was 4 months old. We put them next to each other and laughed at it. I thought by now they’d be about the same. But, if you have seen me and Heather (see sidebar) you can definitely tell who belongs with whom, no? In fact, over the 12 years that we’ve been friends, we have noticed that in photos of the two of us, Heather’s head always looks much bigger and so we have established a habit of her leaning slightly back and me leaning slightly forward when we are photographed together so that our heads don’t look so different.

Seeing our babes next to each other like this tells me that we are going to have to coach them on the same technique.

Big heads, little heads, they’re cute anyway, right?

This morning, I was on duty with the boys while Alec took a long bike ride with friends. I figured it was going to be easy to squeeze in my rookie mom’s challenge before the deadline… well, it depends on your definition of “easy”.

Holden and Milo are in daycare/preschool all week long so when the afternoon rolls around or — even more so — on the weekend, all they want to do is hang out inside with their stuff.

So, that pretty much ruled out both Activity #26: Paint your baby’s feet and Activity #187 Leave the House No Matter What! (unless the front yard counts and I’m going to say that it doesn’t).

That left us with Activity #235 Share a Milkshake

My recipe:
2 cubes frozen mango puree from freezer (from baby food days)
hand full of fresh blueberries
2 hands full of cantaloupe cubes
1 over-ripe banana
2 glugs of plain whole milk yogurt
1 stick mixer

The players:
Milo, choosy 18-month old and the only one who imbibed
Holden, cranky 3 year old, helped with adding banana (wouldn’t try it)
Heather, 30-something with aversion to mango (also wouldn’t try it)
Alec, 30-something in absentia (I’m expecting him to finish the rest)

The results:
The toddler/preschooler combo enjoyed the making of the smoothie. They were appropriately curious and not scared at the loud noise. Nobody grabbed the cord and nobody dumped out their goo on the floor (yay!).

But like I foreshadowed, nobody actually shared the fruits of our labors. Milo enjoyed his, and the rest went in the fridge in the hopes Daddy will polish it off.

The excitement:
The cup with lid and straw that I used to have went missing so I threw caution to the wind and let Milo drink with no lid. Yeah, it was that exciting.

I just reread my post from last August about the 13 things that confused me about preschool, and I’m happy to report that after one year, things are much much easier.

Just like those first few weeks months with a new baby take a lot of adjustment (and the first few days weeks back at work), so, too, the first few months of preschool involve a lot of learning.

And here I am to tell you what I learned:

• Yes, Laptop lunchbox is worth the money. Less waste, less fuss. So easy. I’ve got one for my 17 month old to start using next month. You can buy extra parts for the inside at a great deal if you don’t care about matching. I don’t care about matching.
• Alissa was right about the sleeping bag. I tried to scrimp there and wish I hadn’t. Yeah, $50 is a lot of money, but if they use it every darn day for 3 years, and it doesn’t fall apart after weekly washing, it’s probably worth it. I’m buying a Bazoongi (now on sale for $36) for Milo to start using next month (Holden will have to stick with his REI heavy fleece bag until it falls apart though)
• Between Mabels Labels and sharpies, it really pays to label everything you want to get back. The sticky tagmates work on clothes and plastic bits.
• I can indeed change a poopy diaper standing up. The trick is to get the kid to tip over (or do a downward dog) so you have a clear shot. But thank God for potty training.