RookieMoms Blog

I have a very long and diverse list of blogs I slog through each morning looking for content, so I see strange unholy things on the internet all the time. However, this is the only thing in recent memory that actually, literally, made me gasp aloud in horror.

These are soft faux leopard-print high heels for babies, and they make me cringe. Learning that they cost $35 makes them all the worse. Seriously. Just. So. Wrong. I don’t like to be judgmental about people’s baby fashion choices, but I am going to make an exception for these and say there is no good reason to subject your baby to this. Or me, in case I’m in the room too.

If you’re dying to know if your friend, acquaintance, or chubby barista at Starbucks is pregnant, you may Never Ever ask outright. You may not ask directly if you know she’s trying, she’s being crazy bitchy, and you just noticed a maternity band around her waist.

Instead, might I suggest these more tactful questions to suss out your answer:

1. Do you have any travel plans for Christmas this year? (or other occasion about 6 months into the future)
2. Are you training for a triathlon this summer? (or other sick endurance event)
3. Do you mind if I smoke? (not foolproof and not going to work in Berkeley)
4. Would you like some brie?
5. Would you like a cocktail? I make a very good ______
6. Does this milk/cheese/meat smell rancid to you?
7. Your hair looks so lovely and thick. Are you using a different shampoo/stylist?
8. Do you think you and ____ are going to have any (more) children? (a totally rude and invasive question but way way preferred to asking if she already is pregnant, trust me!)
9. Will you help me put a very heavy new satellite dish on my roof this weekend?
10. Would you like to go surfing/snowboarding this weekend? Our rental place has a hot tub too.
11. Where did you get that beautiful shirt? Is that Anthropologie? (or Liz Lange by Target?)
12. (Say nothing at all and ask her friends)
13. You are positively glowing. (and leave it at that)

For other silly and serious Thursday 13’s…

It’s starting to drive me a little nuts that all the cute modern shirts that are in style right now look like maternity shirts. For $78 you can wear this lovely tee shirt from Anthropologie and look utterly shapeless. Awesome.

Dear readers, if you are secretly pregnant — rejoice! If you are newly post-partum — rejoice! These styles are made for you.

Dooce looked like a million bucks on the Today show, but her dress really got me wondering… how can you tell the stylish and the pregnant apart? I’ve been asked myself so I would *never* advocate asking anyone.

But if you are tired of looking pregnant and post-partum after four years of being those things (like me), what the heck are you wearing?!!

I couldn’t help but wonder why Whitney loved the new SATC movie and I hated it. Without giving away any plot spoilers, I can say I had to do some major soul-searching and this is what I came up with…

When I first met Whitney, I was very much a Charlotte: dating, prudish, looking for love.

Oh sure, my husband likes to think I was a Carrie (because she’s cooler, no doubt), but strip away the job as a writer, the fashion, the nightlife, the ability to walk in those heels, and all the men… and only then are we similar. We both like a good brunch with girlfriends, right? And we have naturally curly hair. If anything, I’m a little more like her now with all my writing and wondering.

But now?! Four years after the series ended, and who am I now? Clearly Miranda. Well, the unemployed version of Miranda. I moved to Brooklyn/Berkeley for my baby and my man and am way too controlling. Awesome. Scary.

But, what about the rest of you new moms out there? Has your SATC character stayed the same since the show ended? Why or why not?

and no whining, and a slightly used ergo, and maybe some chocolate truffles from charles chocolates with peanut butter inside, but otherwise no gifts for me this Mother’s Day.

A year ago, when Milo was fresh, our family went to Brushstrokes (paint-your-own) Pottery and made a mug of Holden’s relatively big footprints and Milo’s teeny tiny footprints. I declared that — forever going forward — Alec and the boys need only fill the mug with something special for Mother’s Day. And that something could always be (good) chocolate. Done and done.

I want to be recognized, appreciated, loved but I don’t need more clutter in my home.

So, that covers the gift portion of the day, but what do I really want? I want to sleep a full night and wake up to happy children. I want the happy children to cooperate as we get ready for a delicious brunch out some place fabulous. I want there to be a very short wait (even though it is Mother’s Day and brunch is not unheard of for such fabulous places). I would also like to avoid all poopy diapers, whining, discipline, and household chores for one day. Basically, I want the fun parts of motherhood without the unpleasant parts.

And world peace.

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How do you want to be recognized this Mother’s Day? Share your hopes and dreams as part of a Blog Blast, sponsored by Johnson’s Baby Cause - a new charitable giving site that I don’t really understand and the Parent Bloggers Network. You’ve got until tonight to write your post.

I live in California where most of my friends don’t smoke.

When I was in college, my boyfriend smoked though, and I remember what it’s like to walk up to a cool smoker who’s waiting some place for you. He’s leaning and he’s smoking and he’s oh-so-relaxed.

Nowadays, when I’m waiting for you, I’m likely to be heads-down furtively thumb-clicking (or side-stroking) my iPhone looking at my photos, reading my emails, double-checking a map, or listening to my voicemail. If only I could move away from my handy purse-size whomi, I’d be updating my calendar too. It’s not exactly relaxing but it takes the edge off of a late-arriving friend (or even if someone ducks into the restroom during a dinner date).

And that’s why I said to Alec, “iPhone is the new smoking.” It’s what all those cool waiting-around geeks are playing with as they lean against walls waiting for their buses. I wonder what my ex would say if he could see me now.

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I got an iPhone as a gift from my job. I like it way more than I thought I would. New moms, if you can indulge in such a luxury, it will radically change your nursing behavior.

They are the best and worst presents my husband ever got me.

For my birthday, while we were still new at the dating thing, Alec remembered an off-handed comment I made about a cool art piece in a cafe and chased down the artist on his own time to surprise me with it. I was so surprised and touched that it hardly matters that I also love it and think it’s hilarious. He scored big points for that birthday.

It proudly hangs on the wall near our front door. I smile inside whenever I see it.

And that yellow shirt? Well, my husband tends to hate shopping and gift-giving so much that I pretended to like it. Oh sure, it’s cute on the hanger or the drawer, but it’s yellow and looks really gross next to my skin. It also didn’t help matters that I had to be super duper pregnant to even fit in it, so I wasn’t exactly looking my best. Did I mention its sleeveless? And how my triceps could be in the best shape of my life from hefting myself in and out of bed while my upper arms managed to still look so doughy is one of life’s great mysteries.

So, when I read about GetInHerHead [via the ParentBloggers], I thought we could give it a try. It’s a handy website for people whose husbands, like mine, hate giving gifts (but still love their wives and are wonderful people). I forwarded the link to him yesterday morning and before lunch, he had already set us both up with accounts and filled in his own vital statistics (shoe size, trousers, shirt, etc.). If he likes it, I like it. I’ll report back after our anniversary or Christmas to see if it made any difference at all in his level of anguish for gift-giving.

Alec, if you’re still reading. I love the gps map toy and the mailboxtees you got me this year — you’re the best!

Is there anyone else out there with a pacifier addict over the age of 2 (or better yet, 3?!) that successfully transitioned away from the dependency?

More than a year ago, we transitioned pretty successfully to bedtime and naptime only. And that’s where we’re stuck.

But for the past six months, Holden is the only kid over age 2 at his school to use a pacifier at naptime. Peer pressure doesn’t seem to have an impact (so that’s good and bad because he’s confident and because it’s a habit I wish he’d just kick).

Good friends of mine claim that when their son’s kicked the binky habit, so too went their afternoon nap. I’m not ready to give the nap up just yet so I’m nervous.

Is it akin to quitting smoking for an adult? It feels like it sometimes (like on Saturday when we were talking at Target in front of all the pacifier brands and we were choosing a new one because Avent stopped making his favorite brand… “so, you like Latex, huh?”).

I want to be respectful of his burgeoning choices but part of me wants to pluck it out and throw it away while he sleeps. Is the “Binky Fairy” a good thing or a bad thing? If he just keeps going will all his teeth rot?

I’m asking you, Internets, can you give me any tips to ease the transition? Any ideas of what not to do?

If you’re one of the two readers of this site who stops here before finding out that Yahoo has a new women’s website / experience / magazine — let me tell you what to think about it.

Shine collects their favorite stories and posts from the internets PLUS some original writing in an attempt to be a one-stop-content shop for busy busy women. I don’t know if this help or hurt fledgling sites like ours but I don’t think we’re necessarily frenemies.

Let’s start with the good stuff:

• The Parenting editor is Crazedparent — she’s funny and has two sons. The overall editor is from Jane Magazine and about to become a rookie mom herself. Cool.
• Shine invited us to a little sneak preview and we enjoyed some excellent food and some small trinkets as well as a full afternoon with only grown-ups. Not to mention that the pink purse that came with my magazines made a nice makeshift easter basket for Holden’s egg hunt and also carries up to 17 little trucks and balls with ease.
• They’re one day old and already featured us twice; I could get used to this!
1. Push Play Date (AKA Elmo Sex)
2. Ready for date night? Put your babysitter on retainer.

Sorry, did that just get too “meta” quoting them quoting me? I’m pretty excited if my little words could reach their 45 quadrillion readers. But I digress.

Isn’t there maybe a dark side to all this link love and content aggregation? Jason Calanacis certainly thinks so. While I was busy emailing a friend the articles above, my husband sent me this blog post about why content providers should drop Yahoo in favor of writer-friendly Google. He says:

If Yahoo wants to go “winner take all” that’s their right, but the niche content sites should stand up for themselves and vote with their partnership dollars for a true partner who doesn’t run off with your business in the night.

Yikes. But they were so nice to me. They fed me and gave me a makeover (sure, Alec teased me about looking like a hooker - but that’s a story for another day), how can they be bad?

Time will tell whether this shiny new online magazine succeeds by partnering with us or by smooshing us out. I wonder if I’ll be able to tell the difference.

What do you think, Whitney? World?

At Julian’s preschool, the two lead teachers speak a lot of Spanish to the kids. The program is loosely English in the morning, Spanish in the afternoon. Being in California, this is not some crazy special language program, it is just one aspect of our preschool that I see as a benefit.

I loved learning Spanish growing up. I completed a Spanish minor in college and spent two summers wandering around south of the border with friends, taking languages classes in Mexico and Guatemala. Julian’s first plane trip was to Mexico at 6 months, and he’s been back twice since then. I had been thinking that his exposure to Spanish at this age was both fun and effective.

He seems to think otherwise.

He has one nighttime babysitter who speaks mostly Spanish and little English. He has recently started to get frustrated by this. At first, he seemed to love playing “How do you say (insert word) in Spanish? ” with her. I was pleased. Before she came over, he would say, “When Ana gets here, I’m going to ask her how to say quesadilla in Spanish!” he would tell me excitedly. Then, it wore off. He became annoyed, perhaps because he was tired at the end of the day, with the difficulty they were having communicating. He told me he didn’t want her to come over because she speaks Spanish.

Yesterday, I popped in a Whistlefritz DVD, “Los Animales” targeted at ages 2-5. At first, Julian watched happily, I think not realizing the video was entirely in Spanish. I was enjoying it, understanding every word and thinking it would be fun to loan the DVD to my Spanish teacher friend. The narrator was very clear with her expressions and the animations, so it’s easy to catch on. After about 10 minutes, Julian said he wanted to watch something else. He was disappointed that the video was in Spanish.

To my chagrin, he is on an English-only kick. I should sign him up for one of those conservative groups that don’t want bilingual signs posted. The other night, I said something to him in Spanish, and he responded “You’re not a teacher or a babysitter!” in a snotty voice. Uh-oh. I had to immediately point out all the people we know who speak Spanish who are not teachers or babysitters. How embarrassed am I! I am a lover of all things Latin and my son is campaigning for English only! Que lastima.

I have to remind myself that he is three and just wants things his way. Just like girls have ponytails and boys don’t. He does not like me to point out boys that have ponytails or girls that have short hair.

I will try to be patient. And I will book us on another Mexican vacation ASAP.

PS On the way to school this morning, he did tell me, “You know how you say Blast Off in Spanish, Mommy? BLAST OFFFFFF!”

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Maybe other Parent Bloggers had better luck getting their kids to sit through Whistlefritz’s other Spanish for beginners videos. See what they have to say.