Books

Once upon a time, I had a job as a copy editor and I lasted about six weeks. From my first day, I felt it wasn’t the right job for me, and I cried on the phone to my previous boss. I forced myself to stay six weeks, and then I gave my two week-notice.

There was a bright side of this job – my office mate. Erika Lenkert was funny, smart, and confident in exactly the way you want an older sister to be. She had a glamorous work history, having written for InStyle, assorted travel guides, and glossy San Francisco magazines, and a glamorous social life, packed with dates, wine country outings with girlfriends, and invites to hip events. And she liked me. She told me she was my number one fan. I felt honored.

We lost touch soon after I left that job, so it was a short-lived friendship, but I was delighted to get an email the other day announcing a new book “The Real Deal Guide to Pregnancy” by Erika Lenkert.

The entire book is in Erika’s voice as she fills the reader in on all the important things a pregnant woman needs to know, adding a dash of her own experiences and down-to-earth perspectives.

Since I am not pregnant, I will confess that I could only bring myself to read about half of the book and then skip around. Love that she suggests traveling. (Can’t dwell on it because for me traveling right now includes a 50% potty trained three year old and an eight-month old who doesn’t sleep through the night.) I am grateful, however, that I didn’t miss out on page 226, where Erika gives us the real deal:

The first six months are really hard. Women who were born to be mommies will disagree, but those of us who have enjoyed being self-indulgent rulers of our own domains and defined ourselves through professional or social achievements accomplishments might beg to differ.

… In conjunction with moments of parental glory is the relentless and all-consuming task of navigating new parenthood, caring for a newborn, and realizing that you and your desires are no longer the first priorities in your own life.

I love to hear other women spell this out for soon-to-be-mamas.

Since Erika went through new motherhood a little after I did, reading this made me wish I could have given my former idol a big hug back when she was a smushy-bellied, tearful, milk-leaking, postpartum mess. I would have taken her and her daughter out for hot chocolate and pedicures. I would have assured her that she would return to the self-confident, strong, creative woman she was when we shared an office. But apparently that already happened, since she must have bounced back in order to write a book about it.

> The Real Deal Guide to Pregnancy is available at Amazon
> Erika Lenkert’s Web site
> The Rookie Mom’s Handbook: 250 Activities to Do with (and Without!) Your Baby (similar themes, but for women whose bundles of joy are already breaking in their Bugaboos)

If you have one toddler and an afternoon in which you need to entertain him between naptime and bedtime, here’s what you need to do:

1- Place toddler in carseat or stroller. Add Cheerios.
2- Go to large bookstore with extensive children’s area.
3- Pull a copy of Naptime Is the New Happy Hour: And Other Ways Toddlers Turn Your Life Upside Down from the Parenting section.
4- Remove 37 board books from shelf and hand to toddler.
5- Sit on stool reading Naptime while toddler throws and slurps on board books.

I think the author, Stefanie Wilder-Taylor, would agree with my recommendation. She and I clearly think a lot alike. She reminds us that entertaining your toddler does not have to include going to the Zoo or Children’s Museum every day. The Sprint store will do just fine for an outing with lots to see and touch.

This is a super fun, light read, and a great gift for someone who has just finished her rookie year of motherhood. Once you’ve graduated from just keeping the baby alive, and it’s time to worry about things like socializing your little caveman and purchasing a toddler bed, this book will be a great companion.

Wilder-Taylor is a funny chick who keeps it real. Read her blog and see if it’s your style.

I don’t know if I’ve been exceptionally lucky or if I just don’t have such a strong internal “am I a freak?” paranoia, but I am noticing a common theme in a lot of Mom-targeted essays and literature in which the narrator thinks all the other moms are too extreme, too obsessed with mothering, too competitive. Our heroine, in this book too, feels like she can’t penetrate this world that everyone else seems more at ease with. Wilder-Taylor describes a scene in which she is peer pressured into a Pampered Chef party and feels alienated from her neighborhood moms. Does everyone feel this way? Am I one of the psycho moms who makes others feel misfit-ish? Regardless, I think I am a cool, approachable mom, and I would be her friend, if she lived in Berkeley, and I hope that she would be mine.

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See what other MotherTalk-ers have to say about this book!

My three year-old loves music and instruments. When my mom gave him the book, Duck Ellington, he opened it, asked to listen to the CD and sat mesmerized, staring at the stereo for about 20 minutes while we all enjoyed kid-friendly jazz. It was totally awesome, as my Southern California peeps said back in the 80s. Then, my mom went crazy and bought him every book in the series. Don’t tell her, but we gave two away as birthday gifts last month, because we don’t want our kid having so much…. stuff. I’ve heard back from at least one of the gift recipients that they love the CD and are going to buy more from the series.

The characters are animals with familiar sounding names: Miles the Crocodile and Ella Elephant. You get the idea. They each have a specialty, and the board book tells the story that can be read as repeatedly as any toddler favorite. The first track on the accompanying CD allows the lead character to introduce him or herself to the listener and explain a bit about their instrument, giving examples of different tempos and pitches. Then, about seven or eight songs follow, telling us the same story as in the book, but in song form.

I don’t know why I didn’t put this on the Rookie Moms holiday gift guide. I suppose because it’s better for the 2 and over crowd. Add them to your Amazon wish lists, people.

I feel like I’m a little late to the party to just be posting about Jessica Seinfeld’s cookbook Deceptively Delicious now, after she’s been on Oprah and all over the blogosphere and even my mother-in-law sent me the Amazon link to the book and asked if I wanted her to buy it for me. (Very nice offer, but thanks to the Parent Bloggers Network, I got to brag that I already had a review copy.)

Although I wish I could get Julian to eat more green vegetables, I don’t think we have such a veggie issue in my house as the one that Mrs. Jerry Seinfeld describes. Apparently even Jerry isn’t so keen on eating his greens. Anywhose, her simple solution is, in my eyes, a brilliant idea: Toss a little pureed veggies in anything you make in order to boost the nutritional content. Your children (and husband) will be none the wiser, and you will relieve yourself of the obligation to prepare veggie side dishes and constantly badger everyone to eat them.

I’m totally down with this plan and don’t have a problem with the “deceptive” part. And I like Jessica’s “system” whereby you do your purees on Sunday night, store them in ziplocs, and then reach for them whenever you prepare a meal– even breakfast. Since we are just a few months away from starting up all that puree business for the baby, I am sure I will find myself scooping a large spoonful of carrot puree into Julian’s mac and cheese. In fact, I had homemade carrot soup in the fridge when I read through the book, so I deceived Julian that very night with some secret sauce in his pasta. I heard no complaints. Then I hid some sweet potato in Saturday morning pancakes, as called for in her cleverly named Pancakes (with Sweet Potato) recipe. I did hear a complaint from my husband. “Too much sweet potato,” he said.

“What am I doing?” I began to wonder. We eat sweet potato as a side dish all the time– with no fussing. Why am I hiding it? Julian will eat edamame, carrot sticks, avocado chunks, and a few crisp green beans at a time. Sometimes he’ll eat cherry tomatos, and he’ll eat pretty much any fruit. It’s unlikely, therefore, that I’ll be wholeheartedly jumping in to the DD system.

My father-in-law wondered, “Haven’t moms been doing this since the beginning of time?” since his wife, Julian’s grandma is constantly adding wheat germ, flax seed, and chickpeas to whatever she cooks. Hmmm, he might be right, but the thing is that my generation of moms has not been momming since the beginning of time, so we have no idea. We need to learn how to cook from Oprah’s guests. Enter Jessica Seinfeld.

The design of the book is very cute, and of course, since the Seinfeld’s have a little boy named Julian, who — from the illustrations — looks pretty much like my Julian, I was instantly charmed. Mostly however, I find the concept of the book inspirational, so even if I never get around to using her recipes step-by-step, she’s already taught me a few tricks. Anytime there’s a puree laying around, into the dinner it will go. Thank you, Jessica.

Links:
> Marketing Mommy actually tested the recipes
> The What’s Cooking blog ponders if this idea is actually too deceptive
> Buy Deceptively Delicious on Amazon.com

To compensate for my pro-carryout post, I want to admit that I cook at home a fair bit. I have a few links, tips and tricks to share:

• I really like the The Best 30-minute Recipe (even though it’s more like best 90 minute recipe with a toddler and a baby around) so we try to work those in as often as practical. Once every week or two.
• I’m also a huge fan of the scramble, but how many times can I write about that? Besides, that really works best if you commit to it one week (5 dinners) at a time.
• Eggs!!! I confess I wish I could cook scrambled eggs every night so I’m working on perfecting my frittata so I can do just that and have it be a little fancier. Throw in some bagged spinach and a chopped vegetable (tomato, mushroom, peas?!), and add panko breadcrumbs before cooking in the oven for a few minutes. Mine are Ugly, but they taste fine and Holden doesn’t care.
• 101 meals ready in 10 minutes or less from the NY Times shared by our friend Sunny. Some of these look super simple and some kind of weird so let me know what you think.
• Creamy garlic shrimp fettucine in under 20 minutes from Karen’s aunt Julie — Get the frozen big ones and keep them on-hand for a fast dinner but do not peel your own; it’s icky and time consuming. I’m trying this recipe next week.

And these tips are not fast fast, but help you get dinner on the table quick if you plan ahead a bit:

• Crock Pot night — especially good when all you have to do is chuck stuff in the pot and come home to a meal. I made some shlock last week requiring about 16 hours of prep plus two overnights. I took some logical (to me) short cuts and the resultant chili was inedible. Oops.
• Double your recipe. Freeze half then serve your family. Schedule (and label) the leftover so you don’t forget about it.

Last night we attended a panel discussion about working and motherhood in San Francisco. There were 600 women present, and it was strange to realize that everyone in the room was a mother. I am used to assuming I am special when I’m at a work event. I have thoughts like, “I have to get home and nurse my baby — y’all wouldn’t understand.” But everyone there last night did understand. And my breasts were totally cooperative with my four hour outing, although I had stashed a hand pump in my purse just in case.

Also present were some cool book authors including the women behind the milk memos. Have you heard about this book?

It all began when IBM manager Cate Colburn-Smith sat down in the company’s employee lactation room, shed a few silent tears, and wrote this on a paper towel: I’m a new mom and today is my first day back at work. Is anyone else using this room?

Right away women responded, and the paper towel was eventually replaced by a series of notebooks, in which these moms offered one another advice and support for juggling work, life and a newborn. Based on the original notebooks, The Milk Memos is an informative, encouraging (and often hilarious!) guide to blending motherhood and work. Actual journal entries are interwoven with information-packed sections on subjects that matter to working moms, such as:

* Finding the right childcare solution
* Getting a decent night’s sleep
* Finding a private place to pump breastmilk
* Establishing a pumping routine in the midst of a
busy workday
* Negotiating with an employer for flextime, part-time,
or a job share

The web site for the book has some helpful PDFs that you back at work nursing moms should take a look at. At the event last night, they also had a recipe for milk production-boosting cookies. I’ll find out if we can get our hands on that and share it with you.

And, before you click away to check it out, have a look at the Rookie Moms pumping project and share your story.

One thing I like is that being cheap and being green can go hand in hand. Unfortunately, being lazy doesn’t always. Here are some little things you can do without a ton of effort.

1. don’t take an ATM receipt
2. turn off the tap when you brush your teeth
3. bring reusable bags to the grocery store if you can remember
4. use a travel coffee mug instead of the paper ones - just carry it with you
5. throw a clothing swap
6. try swaptree to get rid of books you don’t want and get some new ones
7. buy or borrow the green book for hundreds of simple ideas big and small
8. get and use cloth napkins
9. make use of goodwill, freecycle, and craigs list to keep your crap out of the landfill
10. buy local toys
11. use greener cleaning products
12. make baby food or buy big jars of organic applesauce or containers of full-fat yogurt
13. walk, bike, use the internet (good job!)

See more silly and serious lists at thursdaythirteen.com or make your own.

I was asked to test drive Printakid (personalized books for children) and let y’all know what I think. I have long been curious about the professional ways to write your own baby into a book and jumped at the chance.

Holden is quite happy with the finished product with his cartoonish avatar and very own name alongside three of his best buds enjoying a series of outlandish adventures. That said, I have to admit to disappointment on a few different fronts: 1) experience creating the book 2) price of the product and shipping 3) the story itself (that must be read over and over and over).

On ordering the book
Upon ordering my customized book, I knew I had created a cartoon-like character named for my child in a story called The Kingdom of Nevernight, but I didn’t know much more than that.

My chief complaint is that there’s no preview function. I could select a few drop-downs for customizing my hero, Holden, but I couldn’t tell what I made my kid look like. Worse, I left the ordering process with this weird feeling that the book itself is like a mad lib and really wanted to see it before making it a forever kind of thing. For example, I entered three friends and I wondered, are they all just grouped together or will one of them be the best buddy or the scrappy sidekick or the brain?

The site insisted on the guardians names (first names only) and relationship, but I didn’t know why…. is there a place for “mommy heather”? I wanted to ADD MILO but I couldn’t tell where a helpless infant would best fit the story. I hope future iterations of the order process offer more of a preview of the book.

On paying for the book
The price for one book plus medium shipping was $44 at the time I placed my order — can i get a “hell no”?! In my cheap-a$$ opinion, this is a price-point only a grandparent could love — I bet you $10 that my mom would be fine with it. If I were going to pay that much for a single book, I would really like to know a little more what’s coming. Can you tell I’m a little hung up on this point?

On owning the book
Yep once ordering and buying the book is behind you, the proof is in the pudding. And Holden thinks the book is just fantastic and loves reading the goofy story featuring himself and three of his best pals (unrecognizable as a bedouin, a knight, and an ice fisherwoman). Over and over and over.

The story we chose is quirky (at best) and a little hard to read because of an unpredictable rhyme scheme. There are a few other story choices targeted at older kids. In a Sandra Boynton world, The Kingdom of Nevernight drives my husband just crazy enough that he wants to hide it. But Holden will find it again. He’s always looking under the couch for his missing treasures.

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Parentbloggers allowed me the chance to review this book service for you. I have to tell it like it is.

When I first heard about the new dad toolbox, I envisioned a real toolbox with actual things a dad might need. And what would those be? Earplugs, pacifiers, chocolate for mama, a razor to keep his stubble at bay, Purell no doubt?

Seeing the picture of the toolkit didn’t really change my expectations much — only now I figured there’d be different stuff in the kit: rubber ducky, baby bottle, baseball mitt, and a pacifier (got one right!).

But no, it’s a DVD. It’s not a box at all.

So I asked myself: Is this going to save new dads from misaligned expectations, general cluelessness, and paralyzing fear? Is this going to help the home of a new baby to be a more harmonious place?

I watched it myself in an afternoon. Armin Brott, AKA Mr. Dad, is giving a lecture to dads-to-be in an old classroom with a chalk board. The dads-to-be look on with interest and hold babydolls. Nobody speaks but Armin Brott. I found the information very helpful but wondered how much it would really benefit a new dad. How much of this does he already know? When would he watch this? When should he watch this?

In my own not-a-dad opinion, I would rather have The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips and Advice for Dads-to-Be or The New Father: A Dads Guide to the First Year (also by Armin Brott) because they would allow me access to the same information without having to devote an entire afternoon to watching it on TV. I could review the chapters as I wanted — with the benefit of the index and TOC — when I wanted. But I’m a new Mom not a Dad. So, I asked my husband, Alec, to watch it.

Having been the recipient of both aforementioned books, I expected Alec to agree with me. But, he didn’t. Nope. He said that it is great to watch a DVD. It doesn’t require as much time or attention as a book (to digest the information). He recommends watching it in five to ten minute chunks over the course of a week.

Rookie Dad Alec liked the overall content (”tons and tons of information”) — especially the bits about anger management and supporting the breastfeeding relationship — but found the lecture format a little dry. He thought was definitely full of topics that expectant dads would have “no clue” about presented in a realistic and calm manner.

The DVD could go further into connecting with a new baby (like you’ll have to really work at it to figure out your baby’s cries and that connection doesn’t always happen right away) and the emotional side of the experience. It’s also too bad the dads in the class aren’t given a voice.

Bottom Line: Rookie Dad recommends the DVD pre-baby (or within the first couple weeks), as a companion to the books - you probably won’t go back and reference this, but it sets a reasonable tone for ‘what to expect’…he suspects that you’d be able to recall 20% of it immediately afterwards, but once the baby is born a lot of it will come back.

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I was given a review copy of this DVD by Parent Bloggers. If you want to pick up this or any other title by Mr. Dad, check out mrdad.com and tell ‘em the rookie moms sent you.