RookieMoms Blog

Whitney and I had an amazing weekend at BlogHer 08. We hobnobbed with old friends and new ones (like Grover from Sesame Street and Anna from MommyPoppins) and were going going going until dark each night (no, not really until dawn like some other folks, but past our kids’ bedtimes just the same).

This is not the post to tell you all that we saw and did and learned (a lot!) but rather this is a love letter to my husband, Alec.

Alec worked from home on Friday so he could do the preschool drop-off and pick-up himself unassisted. He sorted out dinner, bedtimes, lunches, and in-fighting. We checked in at the end of Friday and things had gone pretty well. Heck, the boys were in school from about 8am to 5:30 so I wasn’t all that concerned.

But Saturday was a different story… he had 12 full hours of playdates (that He Arranged!), diapers, meals (that He Determined), tantrums, and joys. When I returned from my last day of the conference just bubbling and bursting with ideas and enthusiasm, we spent at least 20 minutes recounting all the details of his day as he polished off a bottle of wine (also unassisted). Of course, I loved it. I wanted to know everything that I missed… but I also smiled inside to think about how I must sound to him on all the other days when he works and I stay home.

The next day, Sunday, Holden was so happy to see me he wanted to be in my lap almost the entire time. And Milo (with his toddler attitude increasing by the day) only had eyes for Daddy (of course, he calls us both “dada”).

I love and appreciate you Alec; you make it all possible!… and I think we’re going to do just fine when BlogHer 09 is in some far away land!

If you have preschoolers or pre-preschoolers, you probably already know about SavvySource as the best place to do some research and find preschool reviews. Well, now it’s also one of the best places to find out what to do with your 2-6 year old when they’re not in school.

SavvySource just launched the Being Savvy City Sites as an amazing reference for parents in 20 different metro areas. We have been furtively and feverishly writing for Being Savvy: East Bay at eastbay.savvysource.com. Please have a read or just stop by when you need fresh ideas for fun stuff to do.

Here are some of our favorite recent posts, but there’s already more than a dozen to list, so go see for yourself. Have a click, get comfortable, and make an action plan:

99 things you must do in the East Bay before your child grows up
Discovering the wilderness of the urban jungle
How to cultivate the tiniest green thumb in Berkeley

… and many many (many!) more. If you don’t live in the East Bay, there are 19 other blogger city experts covering other areas around the country.

On Saturday, from 10am to 3pm, we’ll be (wo)manning the Rookie Mom’s Table at the Birth and Baby Fair at Fort Mason. Come on out and see us!

Saturday, May 24th • 10am to 3pm
Fort Mason Conference Center
99 Marina Blvd • San Francisco, CA 94123

• Decorate a Onesie at our Onesie-of-a-kind area (is a corner of a table really a station?)
• Buy our books — We’ll have a few dozen to sell and autograph with a special trade show price.
• Just say “hi” if you’ve ever read our site!

There’s also other way cool stuff to see and do and buy if you’re expecting a baby like get maternity clothes at a discount, visit tables with unbelievably cute mom-preneur inventions and clothes, and learn from experts about birthing options. More details here at birthandbabyfair.com.

Tomorrow we’re having a party to celebrate our book and we want to invite all you rookie mamas. Realistically, we’ll just expect those of you who live in the Bay Area to show up.

The details:

Wednesday, May 21, 2008
11:00am - 12:30pm

Studio Grow
1035 10th Street at Gilman
Berkeley, CA
510.526.9888

Here’s what will be happening:

At this fun-filled event, Heather and Whitney will offer tips for first-time moms on how to maintain your individuality and boost your confidence with the new baby in your life. Meet other new moms and participate in fun activities that will inspire you to discover baby-friendly destinations and adventures.

FUN ACTIVITIES FOR YOU AND BABY, INCLUDING

• Babywearing session: 5-10 different carriers will be available for moms to try on. Sponsored by Waddle and Swaddle
• Baby Portrait Station: Your newborn cutie can get their photo snapped by a professional photographer, Jen Molander
• Onesie-of-a-kind Decorating Station: We supply the materials, you leave with a cute new top for your baby
• Raffle for baby items, including
  • $25 Studio Grow “Green Card” for a family’s admission to Studio Grow
  • An autographed copy of Rookie Mom’s Handbook (with many more on sale!)
  • Mommy Organizer
  • Moby Wrap
  • A Lucky Brand Baby outfit worth $100.00!

Immediately following the event, Studio Grow will be hosting Baby Grow, their weekly drop-in parent discussion group for parents of children 0-12 months. Group is facilitated by Judy Alley, a pediatric social worker.

My friend Sara was just telling a few of us about Playborhood.com, started by a Bay Area dad she met while attending a cool workshop down south. He has a strong belief that kids need unstructured, spontaneous, and (for older kids) unsupervised play–and safe places for doing so.

The website is a collection of stories about kids and adults who exemplify these ideas as well as communities that are working by intention and design to create such places. Additionally, the website provides good parenting resources, many specifically relevant to the benefits of play.

Sounds awesome to me. I can hardly wait until we (as a family) are mature enough for some unsupervised play. And I hope we live in a community that supports this goal. Right now, I can usually walk a couple rooms away for as many minutes with my two alone together.

Berkeley has its own site at berkeley.playborhood.com. One section of the website allows people to let potential home buyers know how kid friendly the neighborhood is. Brilliant.

Please take a minute to check it out and leave comments on what you think of it. Maybe you have ideas to make it better? Or a story that you think would be perfect to share with other like-minded, play focused people in the area?

As Sara says, “Thanks for checking it out. Keep playing!!!”

The other day a reporter contacted us, having read our web site, and said that she was doing a story on the use of high-tech toys and gadgets with babies and toddlers. At this point, it tickles me to think that a product like the LeapFrog Learning Table is high-tech, because what plastic living room fixture doesn’t have lights and music these days? But to the moms of yesteryore, of course it is high-tech. Anyhow, she thought that we would have something to say about this topic.

Neither of us thought we had much interesting to say, but we want to stand up and represent for anyone who might feel the same way — moderate. We both let our kids play with toys that are electronic, toys that are not electronic, and toys that are not toys, for example sticks and salad bowls. We also have exposed them to the computer, to our iPods, and of course to cell phones and digital cameras.

I think this was pretty well captured in the article and I have only two corrections to make.

1- To correct the claim that Holden’s favorite activity is using the Internet. I don’t live with Holden, but from what I know, his favorite activities are talking, vehicle play, music, and napping.
2- The LeapPad learning system does not go online as stated in the article.

After we met the reporter at a cafe where she interviewed us about our kids and their use of technology, a photographer snapped a bunch of photos - and the one of Scarlett that appeared in the paper is darn cute if I do say so myself.

Read the article and let us know if we sound like jackasses. (That’s what Heather would say anyhow, and she’s at work and cannot blog right now.)

I had to drive all over town to find this paper, as it’s for the county next to us, and it just really got me thinking about how ironic it was that we are used to being all over the Internet, but to be in the printed paper was a treat.

My mom has been visiting from Ohio lately and there were some really awesome things about having her around: Holden loves her, she seems to like to do our laundry, she’s funny and kind, and she likes to pay for things when she visits.

But there’s one favor that I can’t ask her to do… or well, I can ask, and I have asked, but I almost always regret it. I can’t ask her to shop for our groceries (unattended).

On Sunday, I took a badly-needed nap and she volunteered to go the grocery store for the “essentials” and the list looked something like this:

1. Organic, Clover milk 1% (green cap)
2. Alfaro’s 6 grain bread (green label)
3. green bananas

“How funny, everything’s green… do you want to look in my fridge to familiarize yourself with the packaging?” No, she didn’t and she set off for the store.

I napped.

I awoke to her coming in the door with bags brimming with stuff including:

• green bananas - check!
• Alvarado 7 grain bread (also green label as she showed me but otherwise all different)
• not so organic milk
• assorted impulse buys like cherry pie (we like apple) and cookies

While I was so appreciative that she had spared me a trip AND helped me get a nap, I was also pretty frustrated that my very specific list was pretty much ignored. And it struck me that the kinds of things I find Healthy are almost the exact opposite as what my mom finds Healthy.

For instance, I try to feed my family organic when it’s practical and I focus on whole foods and stuff without a lot of ingredients. Mom is thoroughly flummoxed every time I poo-poo the low-fat muffin she picked out for me or the “Now with artificial sweetener” diet cookie she thought for sure I’d want.

Is this a generational thing? A geographical thing? A just my-family-thing?

If you want to read about finding the cheapest, freshest, localest food around, check out this old post on getrichslowly. I find this kind of thing fascinating and helpful.

If you think I’m a total ingrate whose both forgotten my roots and become a Berkeley freak, tell me off in the comments (gently please, I’ve just undergone a long weekend of that already).

This past Thursday, when Alec had his Dad’s Night Out, I decided to really roll the dice and take both boys out to a restaurant by myself. It was pretty fun.

I tried to call it our Big Adventure, but Holden said we shouldn’t call it a ‘venture. So I asked, “what should we call it then, mom and boys dinner date?” and he said, “we should call it a family”. Cute, but that wasn’t really what I was going for.

Didn’t Holden understand what a big freaking deal it was for me to bring both of them out in public to a restaurant to eat an actual meal with no adult back up? What if there was a poo’splosion (like last time), or a cup being thrown (like last time), or if I just needed to cry? I guess when you’re three, your job is not to worry about that stuff, so he didn’t.

We arrived at Picante (super duper child friendly, for those of you not in Berkeley) with perfect rock star parking — right in front of the door on the correct side of the street! I let Holden out first and asked him to please wait on the sidewalk and be my big helper; he agreed. I loaded Milo into the Hip Hammock, handed Holden the diaper bag, and grabbed my purse and extra baby food right as it started pouring. Buckets! We ran inside. Holden thought that was really fun.

Because we arrived around 5:30, it wasn’t too crowded. Holden darted around the line area, not exactly standing where I asked… and I tried to play it cool. We ordered well and got a table. Holden waited near our table while I struggled to set up two high chairs while still wearing my curious one-year-old. I probably could have asked for some help at that point. Next time.

Fast forward, everyone ate pretty well, Milo tried to teach himself to use a spoon, and they probably hosed down the area after we left… but that’s standard procedure for Picante. I think we’ll be back. Yay me!

I started “no buying new things” month on Friday. And it’s going pretty well. Except for I’m not exactly saving money since things like “expensive exercise class” are not *things* and are allowable.

Some highlights:

• I found a never-worn skirt in my closet for my fancy dinner date with Alec. I even wore it with the tags on in case it didn’t work out so I could make it look more desirable at the clothing swap (but that was weird of me).
• Talked two co-workers into joining me on my mission and we celebrated by eating lunch out at a restaurant. At least it wasn’t take-out but maybe we should have walked to the cafe if we’re really trying to reduce our global footprint. Hmmm.
• My sister-in-law birthed a brand new (VBAC, you go girl!) niece for me on Friday and I’ve assembled a nice gift box of a home-made baby wrap, baby necessities (like infant tylenol and zinc), and a gift certificate for food.
• No other shopping. Yet.

I also found a great list for fresh inspiration on making toys out of ordinary objects Unclutterer.com; Milo’s first birthday is this month, so he may be cashing in on this find.This site has so many good ideas to clean up my life. If I get around to it. Maybe while I’m lying around the house not buying new stuff this month, I’ll make time? Nah.

Ok, now that I think of it, we have a bunch of related RM activities:
Activity #221: Play choo choo in a laundry basket
Activity #222: Have a (yoga) ball
Activity #80: Fake em out
Activity #123: Introduce the Tupperware

And then there’s the whole free/cheap ideas category for outings and non-toy fun.

At postnatal yoga today, Scarlett and I sat between moms with baby girls named Sage and Hazel.

Are we a trend? Are people going to think we Berkeley mamas pick our children’s names out of the J.Crew catalog? Should I have considered Amber? Mauve? Ebony?