RookieMoms Blog

Last week, Ryan’s company threw a lovely holiday party. We were treated to a sit-down dinner at a well known fancy restaurant. With a babysitter I trusted, and a body that can finally fit in non-maternity clothes, I was feeling pretty happy as I took my seat at a table with three other couples.

I sat next to another mother of young children, and we talked comfortably for a couple of hours about all of the very important topics that once-hip women talk about — seeing live music in San Francisco, our interesting careers, and what to buy at Trader Joe’s. Oh, and why does no one ever tell you that all your hair will be falling out after you have babies? Yes, we covered all the good stuff.

Across from us, a couple of attractive newlyweds, probably bored to tears by our potty training tales, were charming and friendly. For a party full of folks I have never met, I was having a very good time.

Looking at the just-marrieds, I remembered the days after my own wedding, when Ryan and I could talk about nothing except how awesome our friends, family, food and festivities had been. “So,” I said to Mrs. Newlywed, “have you guys stopped talking about your wedding yet?”

“Can I be frank with you?” she said.
“Yes,” I said, leaning in with interest, hoping to hear that she cared little for her wedding, or that they didn’t actually have a wedding, so there was nothing to talk about. Something, I assumed, that would be related to her wedding.
“I went off the pill, that I was on for years, about a week before our wedding. Yeah, so you can tell where we are. Well, anyway, my hair started falling out because the impact of going off the pill is just like post-partum hormones.”

Apparently we had a misunderstanding about the topic of discussion.

My husband and her husband are in between us. Part of this conversation, but perhaps not wanting to be.

“So I just went off the pill,” she repeats. “Right, honey?” she looks at her husband to include him in the conversation. “Maybe a week before the wedding,” she tells us again. “Yeah, I just stopped taking it. Yasmin was the brand of my pill. I went off if it, and I was a total hormonal mess. Right, honey?”

Discomfort. I know my husband wishes he was not sitting next to someone who was sharing her birth control plans with us. He hates to be given too much information about people he doesn’t know. He could listen to women talk about hair coloring, vintage shoe collections, and George Clooney for a very long time, so it’s not that he has no tolerance for chick stuff. It’s the bodily functions. They’re private.

And the repeating — that was the worst part. She named the pill and continued to talk about it for at least three minutes. I was at first confused, wondering why she was telling me this. Then I remembered that the other woman and I had been talking about hair falling out postpartum.

I thought about the many conversations I have had with women I hardly know. One next to me in yoga class told me she got an anal fissure with the birth of her daughter. No problem. I’m not embarrassed or offended. But, if her husband was standing there, I sure might be. It’s not the way I believed the world is, but apparently there are some things I only want to discuss in the company of my own gender.

Tell me about your leaky breasts, your incontinence, your secrets to multiple orgasms. But don’t tell me in front of my husband.

As we waited for the valet to bring our car around and indicate the end of this very-much-fun-for-a-company-holiday-party, I told Ryan I was trying to shake off the discomfort of that birth control conversation. I think he was relieved that I felt the same way, as he does not want to believe himself to be a prude. And so we acknowledged together that there are some things that are not to be discussed in mixed company.

It’s the collision of two unlikely impulses: the cheapskate meets the big spender in an unlikely alliance as the dollars left in our Flex Spending Account must be drained before the year is out! No more generics for us.

Oh crap. Let’s get shopping. It’s use it or lose it time.

You see, we planned to have a baby this year so we set aside a little extra. And if #2 had cost what #1 cost us, we wouldn’t have any left in the pot at all. But we were lucky and managed to switch to a better insurance plan, so now we have two weeks to spend about $300+.

There’s a whole lotta baby-having, fertility, infertility stuff that’s covered but we’re all set in that area. There’s not enough time to start and then earnestly stop smoking.

First on our shopping spree was Target. I went with both boys (now 31 months and 9 months old) and wheeled through only two aisles loading up on pain relief, eye lubrication, and cough suppressants for young and old. I bought a handy dandy fancy ear thermometer and got out of there for almost $150. We had to make an extra stop at the returns counter (with the toddler screaming because he couldn’t use the credit card machine) because it turns out that Airborne is not a health expense.

It’s such a funny feeling to leave Target and feel like “I didn’t spend enough today — we need to buy more!”

I called my dentist and got in for a Wednesday cleaning. But with no co-pay, I have clean teeth and less than two weeks to buy something health-related.

Alec also had a dental exam and he has one cavity. Yay!?

Now I better go order just the right amount of contact lenses and hope I don’t go over.

—-UPDATE—-
drugstore.com has a special FSA section of the store where it is possible and easy to spend the exact amount you want. Yeehaw! Butt paste for everyone!

A holiday round-up for last minute wannabe gift-givers

1. Thingamababy shares the five hottest (and freeest gifts for small ones. Reminds me I’m still planning to nab one of those appliance boxes from work for a giant fort!
2. The Mighty Goods Gift Guide is the mother of all gift guides (and sort of the opposite of our first pick). We love fellow rookie mom Andrea’s superhero necklaces.
3. Dutch’s 2006 Holiday Shopping Guide for the Indie Sonofabitch Parent — ‘nuf said.
4. Uncle Mark’s Gift Guide and Almanac — he narrows down all the choices to the best pick of cameras, phones (the same!), and now a baby gift guide that looks suspiciously like our own registry list. Right on.
5. Design*Sponge Bloggers Wishlist is what Whitney would have put together if she had more time and less children. Gorgeous, handmade, and fun.
6. Cool Mom Picks have both the Holiday Gift Guide and Safer Toy Guide in case you wouldn’t be happy just giving your baby a cardboard box.
7. Gastronomic gifts that rock from the Food Section gift guide — I’d like to see what Milo would do with that Loopabowl!



8. Urban Outfitters has collected three pages worth of gifts under $50, including these brightly colored Lomography fish-eye cameras for the sibling who fancies himself hip and artsy. Whitney will be buying the Florida Gators tee for her husband.
9. CityMama’s easy and cheap (and local) guide to homemade gifts. Now step away from the mouse and make something.
10. The Design Public Gift Guide is another favorite for well-designed adorability. If you’re too cheap to shop here, start a wishlist.
11. The Mominatrix holiday gift guide is like none other on our list. Oh snap.
12. Auntie Karen’s guide of potentially impractical but completely fabulous gifts for families
13. More? Check out 39 mom-tested holiday gift ideas in the Rookie Moms Holiday Shopping Guide.

Read more lists of thirteen items at ThursdayThirteen.com

I know I practically complained about all the gifts that would be coming into my house this month, but I’d like to apologize for that because my stepmom did all of her shopping for us at Uncommon Goods, and we love it all.

I’ll just tell you about a few favorites.

This Pooki doll has fleece backpack straps on it, so when Scarlett toddles around, she can bring her cute buddy with her.

The monkey slippers arrived in baby size for Scarlett and toddler size for Julian. Totally cute. I made Julian a scarf to match, but I’ll save that for another post.

For me, a set of three zipper pouches for cosmetics or whatnot. They are made of recycled bags.

We are loving this memory game with faces from around the world. Great for 3+. I love the style of illustrations and the tiles are high quality to withstand the ungentle hold of grubby hands.

Are you so jealous? Do you wish your Hanukkah looked like this?

So, although I feel the need to go to a mall sometime this week, I think I could probably get away with one big order from Uncommon Goods for most of my shopping list.

The Parents Magazine gang at goodyblog is having a phenomenal holiday giveaway and everyone’s invited. As much as I would love to enter all the contests myself and win my pick of prizes, it’s already too late for that so come on by and join me.

They’re giving away (should I say gifting?) a bazillion prizes until midnight December 14.

And this party is way easier than real holiday parties. You can show up in your pajamas (like I am right now) and all you have to do is comment. I’m also pretty sure you can win the prizes without being terribly witty.

I’ve been thinking that a photo printer would be a great gift for my mother-in-law or sister-in-law who seem to take a lot of photos, yet somehow I never see them. I mean, what’s up with these people who don’t have blogs? Just kidding. But these folks don’t even seem to bother with Kodak Gallery or any method of getting their photos from the camera to the computer. I have, however, heard them talk about taking their memory cards to Walgreens for printouts. So I’m thinking this little printer would be great for them.

What I love is the size and shape. I think it’s actually called the Photosmart COMPACT printer, and it really is. It has a little handle, so it’s really easy to take out when you want to use it, and not have it out all the time. It needs to get plugged into the wall of course, but doesn’t necessarily need to get plugged into the computer. It’s like your own personal Walgreen’s kiosk. Stick your memory card in the front, photo paper in the back, and use the touch screen to select what you want to print. For the photo-happy grandparent, this is fantastic. For those who are more picky about their photos in terms of lighting and color, I’d guess that you would, like me, first upload your photos to the computer, mess with them, and then print them out. Either way, I’m totally satisfied with the print outs I’ve made with my carefully cropped and color-corrected photos.

HP Photosmart Printer, you are my new friend.

HP Photo Album Kit, I don’t really need you. I was so excited that you come with software to make me a scrapbooky kind of photo album. Of course, you come with an album and photo paper, too. But I thought, hooray, I don’t have to go through the pain of formatting pages with multiple photos and figuring out how to make them come out on the photo paper. The templates include Baby, Holiday, Dog, you get the idea. HP, here are some things you need to improve:

1) The software does not let me customize the book. Certain pages must have a set number of photo slots, so you can’t convert a 2-photo page to a 3-photo page, nor can you move the pages around within the album.

2) You cannot format the text. There is a space for a caption and you can’t change it’s position, font size or style.

3) Since the software is all about the placement of photos. You cannot correct them, say for lighting or conversion to black and white, within this interface. You need to have done this action already.

4) If a photo is not high enough in resolution, there is no warning. I would appreciate a “This will print poorly” message. (I am fussy about photo clarity, and I know that my mother-in-law does not care, so perhaps yours does not either)

The printer is $130, so perhaps a joint gift from adult siblings could make this a good gift for someone. The ink cartridges are your real expense. This actually leads me to my last complaint:

5) Too late in alerting me that the cartridge was running low. I was printing a 13-page photo book and the second-to-last page came out faded. I was upset that I didn’t get a warning from the printer about the ink cartridge being low. Then, the alert came on. So, it did actually tell me that the print quality would be degrading soon, but unfortunately it was one page too late. If I was counting on this as a gift, I would be pretty frustrated because I had wasted a sheet of photo paper and was planning to use all the sheets I had on hand. Argh!

I switched out the cartridge (Yay for me for having an extra ready to go, right?!) and noticed that HP included an envelope, postage paid, for me to send in my empty cartridge for recycling. As my three-year old says when he gets his way, “I’m so happy now!” Good for you, HP. We really don’t want to throw these ink cartridges into the landfill.

Bottom line, on my new friend, HP Photosmart Printer. For a doting grandparent who just wants to print photos and not care about editing them, this is a very cool toy to have.

Links:
> If you want to buy an album to go with it and save 20%, click here.
> Read what other parent bloggers have to say about the printer.

Picture this stroller in green. Now picture it with my 9 month old Milo in the left hand side all bundled up for school and careening down my porch steps almost running down my 2 year old as he walks carefully down the steps.

Oops!

This was the heart-stopping moment we had this morning on the way to school. And then my beloved husband said, “I guess I forgot to reset the brake.”

Luckily — and here’s where the product praise singing gets underway — the baby and preschooler were completely unharmed and aside from that sentence (and a few dirty looks exchanged between the two grown-ups), not a word or scream were uttered.

That is one stable and solid stroller! The baby wheeled down four stairs and remained completely upright and secure.