RookieMoms Blog

Look what I did! I not only made people, but I made Jewish people, just by being born Jewish thirty-some-odd years ago. I’m so proud of myself and my Jewish-people-making abilities. And my husband, he helped. He made them, too. And he made them half-Jewish, simply by being a Gentile. Good job, us! Mazel tov!

So now we’ve got two kids, a baseball team’s worth of grandparents (thanks to some happy remarriages), and the December holidays upon us. For the most part, this is twice the fun. But let us not deny the most anticipated aspect of the holidays: presents. Stuff. Wrapped packages. New toys. Baby GAP gift receipts.

You know the place, Holidayinsanityville,
population: everyone you know.

Is it even possible to control the flow of gifts so that I get to buy my children things that we want and need, while graciously receiving from other well-intended gift givers AND simultaneously avoid either or both of the following: an overstimulated, ungrateful three-year old son and an infant daughter with more clothes than she could ever wear (even at the current spit-up-amplified pace of three costume changes per day)?!

Maybe control is the wrong word. I like to buy my children things that I like or that they’ll like. I like to wrap their presents and stuff their stockings. I like to pick out the clothes they’ll be wearing next year. I don’t want to back off because others want to do it for me.

Enter the Grandparents. Some of them just do Hannukah. I know they’ll be sending us 8 gifts per kid.

And the other grandparents. They do Christmas. They can’t control themselves. They do not give one or two gifts to each grandchild. My estimate would be more like four or five. Plus us. We like to give our children gifts for Christmas. And why not? This is one of the best parts of having kids, isn’t it?

But next week I also would like to give nightly gifts to my kids. They’re MY kids and it IS Hanukkah. I don’t think the tradition is “no gifts from Mommy and Daddy.” Julian’s getting a Slinky, some Hannukah stickers, and some new socks. I’ve already bought Scarlett two pacifiers, some links to connect stroller toys, and some spoons for tasting her first food. These are not extravagant, crazy gifts. It’s just a lot.

So there’s the upcoming week of Hannukah with two small (we hope!) gifts per night, and then, three weeks later, Christmas, with god knows how many presents. Anyone have a plan for controlling this situation?

I worry that each gift does not get appreciated because it gets set aside in order to open something else. It all becomes a waste and an over-the-top display of abundance.

Am I nuts? Do I sound ridiculously ungrateful? Controlling? Would love to hear your thoughts.

I’m trying to get Milo to respond to a new nickname. Now that he army crawls across the room, bumping into walls, and eating every tiny spec of dirt he can lay his hands on, I call him the roomba.

We’re so proud.

How long does this phase last again? And can anyone tell me if an actual roomba is a good match for a nine-month old on a mission to rid my living room of dirt, food, and hair?

Oh dear readers, in case you were wondering, this is what to send me!

I was going to buy my step-dad a $50 box of Scharffen Berger cocoa powder to feed his chocolate habits. He currently likes to add Hershey’s syrup to his every coffee and keeps a squirt bottle in his brief case. But I realized that unless you’re a cocoa or mocha fiend/snob like my husband, it would just be a very sad waste of cacao beans and space in his pantry.

So then my mind wandered over to these little gems that Sunny introduced me to and I thought I should pass along the find to you.

If you want to buy a truly decadent chocolate gift for the spicy person in your life, you absolutely must get some of these $$ chocolate tiles. Flavors like Aztec Chile and Burnt Caramel or Ginger are infused into the dark chocolate and I’m getting a little droolly just thinking about it.

Bittersweet chocolate combined with the finest ingredients from roasted almond to bits of burnt caramel toffee and finished with grey sea salt. Our tiles are made by hand in our San Francisco kitchen and packed in our signature blue box. from bits of burnt caramel toffee to roasted almonds.

Spicy sweet. And it’s at the stupid price point that is crazy to buy yourself and only Santa can afford.

Related links:
> Read a rave review on thenibble.com
> Buy me (or someone you love) 16 Aztec Chile tiles for $34 at pocodolce.com
> Get way too much cocoa powder for $50 at scharffenberger.com

The Baby
Since I always think about how people can let a baby be a baby while not completely babyfying their home, I have some suggestions that are win-win for babies and parents. These alphabet letter magnets, decoupaged with stylish origami paper, are only $20/set from Etsy - so you can teach your child about letters AND aesthetics at the same time!

And while we’re on the subject, instead of the usual “A is for Alligator”-type animals poster, how about this Modern Classics Alphabet Poster? Beautiful rich colors and clean lines teach Junior that E is for Eames, L is for LeCorbusier (only $35).

I’m also really feeling these racecar wall decals from ModernTots- they are almost good-looking enough to go in any room of the house ($45/set).

The Daddy
I am loving these District Cotton recycled billboard bags, starting at $54 - he can tuck away his laptop OR diapers and a sippy cup in these super stylish, handcrafted, one-of-a-kind bags made from old billboards.

Or, give him the updated form of the most romantic gift that ever was — the mix tape. Suck UK has a USB mix tape drive that looks like a tape, but opens up to reveal a USB drive you can load with all of those songs you used to love, before your auditory world was dominated by the Wiggles and the Backyardigans. Grown-up songs ONLY, OK?

The Mommy
Staying up all night with a screaming child can really ravage the look of your skin, but a touch of the Bare Minerals foundation powder will give you the illusion that you are a fresh-faced young thing who has never even heard the words “nipple chafe”. It takes about 5 seconds to apply and it’s SPF 15 to boot! A $50 gift certificate will get her (or you) the Kabuki brush and a powder of her choosing.

This one is a major splurge — but for $1100 you can get a glider, which we all know is the necessary objet of early babyhood, that’s really great looking.

I’ve always been partial to these probably-super-impractical-but-gorgeous silk shantung OopaBaby slings. Give it (or get it) before the holidays though, so you can wear it out to all of the holiday soirees! They start at $79 and there are some that come in more everyday fabrics as well, if you think the equation of baby+silk = disaster.

The Big Family Gift
What could be better than a colorful DNA print of the whole family’s DNA? DNA 11 will send your gift recipient cheek swabs and instructions, and then create a surprisingly beautiful and colorful print of each family member’s DNA. They start at $390.

Or — and this is not such a big splurge gift, but would be super cool — if you’re crafty, take this idea of the “Missing Husband Pillow” from craftzine and make a pillow that represents each member of the family so you never ever ever have to miss each other. Plus if your real kid is being bratty you can momentarily take solace in your silent and always well-behaved pillow-child.

The Grandparents
Since the grandparents are so kind and generous to everyone else (at least in my family) you have to get them something good. Maybe the grandparents are hipsters too… in which case you can order custom prints of your kid in a Warhol-style poster. Send your photos into PopArtWorks and they’ll do it for you. They’re not cheap, so if you’re a) clever, b) own Photoshop or know someone who does, and b) and live near a Kinko’s, then try Melissa Clifton’s online tutorial and make your own!

To highlight tiny pictures of their lovely grandchildren get them this lovely Slide Light from The Conran Shop for $285 that they can fill with their favorite photos and change at will. And don’t worry — you can send your digital pictures here and for about 2 bucks a pop, they’ll mail them back in 35mm slide form!

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Thanks to Karen for inspiring both outrageous spending sprees and thrifty craft projects! Since she’s the only childless in her family, they count on her to keep them hip at the holidays… while they give each other sweatsuits, power tools, and other such necessities.

If you’re itching for more, check out 39 mom-tested holiday gift ideas in the Rookie Moms Holiday Shopping Guide.

Another unsolicited gift idea and positive review for the best little magazine for the toddler set (around 15 month to 30 month old): Wild Animal Baby by the National Wildlife Federation. We got it last Christmas from from my mom and Holden really loves it.

He always pores over the new issues until he learns every nuance, and he often wants to read more than one in a sitting. Having a mini magazine subscription is sooooo good when the board books are getting a little (or a lot) stale. I plan to save all the back issues for Milo and can fully recommend it as a gift.

We are ready to graduate to Your Big Backyard (for the over-threes). Woohoo.

I stumbled on something else that might make a cool gift for a parent. I used to sell these silver necklaces at my store: they had two different origami papers on each side, so it was like two necklaces in one, depending which side you wore. The ones I sold had a monkey on one side and pink flowers on the other. They are really well-made and beautiful. So, I looked at the website and now she is doing custom jewelry incorporating your own personal photos.

I think the most appealing is one that has the pretty paper on one side, and a picture of your kid on the other- so you don’t actually sit there displaying your kid on your chest. You can wear it paper-side out, but you have a cute picture close by (and close to your heart, awww) in case someone asks or you miss him too much!
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Who’s Karen? Oh yeah, now I remember!

This challenge was part of my list of 101 things to do in 1,001 days. Well, mission accomplished, I got this little number and I like it.

But I’m really here to recommend the undies.

I don’t normally find most of the fancy stuff comfortable. Admit it, we do it for the guys. But I want to go on record here as saying that I think the ultra low-rise lacy teeny bikini things are extremely comfortable. For reals. They don’t have those painful strings cutting in the sides or up the back, but they still look you know…like you’re making an effort.

And here’s an unintended stroke of luck for pregnant (and recently post-partum mamas)…because of our society’s current obsession with ultra low rise for everyone, I bet they would make good maternity undies too. Let me know.

Ultra low rise apologies to any of my co-workers or old high school buddies who may be reading this. At least I’m not talking about nipples.

Crossing off: 8. Buy a special outfit of lingerie

As much as I love the Totland t-shirt I ordered from Neighborhoodies, the price was over the top. I would do it again as a gift for an adult. But $21, plus $7 shipping for a kid is a bit much. I did order a size 4 and hope that we’ll get a full year out of this shirt, and possibly a second wearing for Milo, or maybe Scarlett. Now I see Simply Colors, a web site that has similar personalization capabilities. I can’t vouch for the quality, but they do sell great-looking colors, and the ability to personalize the front, back or both with cute fonts. And, they sell onesies for sizes up to 3/4. Wow!

This long sleeved shirt with a personalized front is $17.90. Short-sleeved is $15.90.

My three year-old loves music and instruments. When my mom gave him the book, Duck Ellington, he opened it, asked to listen to the CD and sat mesmerized, staring at the stereo for about 20 minutes while we all enjoyed kid-friendly jazz. It was totally awesome, as my Southern California peeps said back in the 80s. Then, my mom went crazy and bought him every book in the series. Don’t tell her, but we gave two away as birthday gifts last month, because we don’t want our kid having so much…. stuff. I’ve heard back from at least one of the gift recipients that they love the CD and are going to buy more from the series.

The characters are animals with familiar sounding names: Miles the Crocodile and Ella Elephant. You get the idea. They each have a specialty, and the board book tells the story that can be read as repeatedly as any toddler favorite. The first track on the accompanying CD allows the lead character to introduce him or herself to the listener and explain a bit about their instrument, giving examples of different tempos and pitches. Then, about seven or eight songs follow, telling us the same story as in the book, but in song form.

I don’t know why I didn’t put this on the Rookie Moms holiday gift guide. I suppose because it’s better for the 2 and over crowd. Add them to your Amazon wish lists, people.

Hey everyone!
I got a job. And I like it. And that makes me nervous. Because it could all go away.

Let me tell you a few things:

1. Being at work is easier than being at home with a baby (or two babies) almost all of the time.
2. Working and also getting all the home stuff done and spending enough time with said babies is actually quite challenging.
3. Finding a job with a flexible schedule paying enough money to make childcare feasible is super hard — without even factoring in whether or not it is a job worth having.
4. And finding a job worth having with a flexible schedule, enough money, that’s close to home and preschool with a life partner like Alec to balance the home stuff and BFF/LLP site partner like Whitney to keep the rookiemoms rolling along — well, that’s like getting a baby to sleep through the night all the time — you don’t want to talk about it and jinx yourself!

Since Holden was born two and half years ago, I have had several combinations of free-lance and part-time gigs. This is the first one I’m really excited about though. So wish me luck and go buy a bunch of TasteBooks to keep me in business. Thanks!

This bumps these two things off my list.

98. Update my resume
99. Get a job I like

Related links:
> Fighting for work/life balance via Mom’s Rising
> Whitney’s take on TasteBook
> Check out TasteBook.com for yourself