RookieMoms Blog

I’d like to go out on a limb here and suggest two non-standard parenting books, one for Him and one for Her

First for Him:

I bought Alec Alternadad by Neal Pollack for Father’s Day and I admit it was a shot in the dark. In fact, I was looking for The Dangerous Book for Boys but they were all sold out at Cody’s so I got this instead.

He’s reading it in fits and spurts on the bus to/from work and before bed. He’s really enjoying it and will probably finish it today. He can’t decide whether to tell me all about it or to insist I read it when he’s done. That’s a good sign (did I mention that he has Harry Potter (Book 7) unopened on his nightstand?!)

When he said to me this evening that, “it’s nice to read about some people who are cooler than us having the same problems” — I had to agree. But more because it reminded me of the book I just finished yesterday…

Now my recommendation for Her:

I received Confessions of a Naughty Mommy: How I Found My Lost Libido from my friend Jeanine. She brought it over unsolicited along with a very thoughtful gift of a massage from one of my book clubs (side note: this is a mom’s only book club and they let me attend even when I don’t read the book, so I continue to not read the books and I just show up for dessert and camaraderie).

I gobbled up this book. The author, Heidi Raykeil writes a column — Sex in the Suburbs no less — for the fabulous online magazine Literary Mama and has obviously had some fun sexy times both with and without her husband before settling into a hormonal-new-parent sexual slump. What a relief.

So, if you’re looking for some quippy fun books to make you feel like less of a loser, try one or both of these and let me know what you think!

Related entry: Too cool for preschool? Not me… I wish.

I’m doing it. I’m having a go at freecycling. Wheee. Clear out that shed of unwanted baby stuff and random old gifts and weird things that we moved with three years ago but still haven’t used.

Let our trash become someone’s treasure!
It was pretty straightforward to sign up. Just search for your location (in my case, Berkeley) then join a Yahoo group. But how easy will it be to get my stuff moving?

Well, I signed up yesterday and just got rid of my Brita pitcher and 10 filters. Yay!
One thing down and a whole shed to go…

This morning I found myself walking up the street, wearing my baby, when she woke up. She, being five weeks old, was going to need to eat ASAP, and I was still two blocks from home. I noticed that the way she was positioned in the fauxby wrap I was wearing placed her face right against my breast. So I did what any flipping awesome second-time mom living in Berkeley would do: I nursed her while I walked. When I approached my door and entered the house with a key in one hand and a coffee cup in the other, diaper bag over my shoulder and baby’s mouth on my breast, I thought, “Damn, I’m good.”

Of course the last five weeks have had some crazy ups and downs. The downs are mostly during the screaming hours. The ups are mainly during the sleeping hours. But there are other ups to brag about, too. I have accomplished quite a few Rookie Mom outings and activities.

Let’s review my list:

Activity #455: Wrap your baby and stay warm - See picture.
Activity #38: Learn baby massage - I took a free class at Elephant Pharm this week. Next one is Aug 28.
Activity #494: Build a better Kleenex box - I sent a personalized Kleenex box with a picture of my baby to all three grandmothers.
Activity #17: Soothe that baby - Validating that a swaddled baby naps longer.
Activity #92: Go to the theater where crying is allowed - Scarlett’s first movie was Hairspray!
Activity #122: Say “Yes, thank you.” - I am pleased with myself because when my seven months pregnant friend Lisa asked how she could help, I told her to come over and hold Scarlett for 20 minutes while I go drive Julian to school. I’m proud of myself for saying “yes” to the help.
Activity #100: Get a pedicure - Heather and Milo came, too, and we sat in spa chairs while the babies sat in their carseats.
Activity #205: Meet a monkey at the zoo - Ok, this was really for Julian’s benefit, but the result of being #2 is that you get to go to the zoo when you are just a few weeks old.
Activity #361: Make some easy kids pants - I made a pair of tiny tiny pants for my tiny tiny girl out of a cute pink tshirt. It took about twenty minutes. Super fun to tell people I made them myself (when they comment).

So can I possibly keep this up next month?

Our very thoughtful online friend Kendra from ShoppingForTwo sent us these adorable giraffe big brother shirts.

Since giraffes are special to Holden and pink is special to Julian, it was not hard to dress them in these shirts for a picture.

The hard part was to get them to line up and be photographed. I have several outtakes of this session (that only a mother could love, I’m sure) — but the only one in which they are both looking at the camera, sort of smiling, not flailing too much is this one where they’re laying on the ground. I think they’re air-guitaring.

Check out the other cute shirts at the Shopping For Two cafepress shop. And thanks Kendra — we love ‘em!

I know from reading around other people’s blogs that there are no real unbloggable topics. But I wanted to wait to make sure our doctor said he was on the mend before writing putting anything Out There. Call me superstitious.

My most vivid memory was of clutching Holden’s head to my chest with blood spurting out with his every heartbeat. I couldn’t tell exactly where on his head it was coming from — whether the dog had taken his ear off or if it was coming from multiple places. I already know that heads bleed a lot, but knowing doesn’t prepare you for the fountain coming from your child’s head.

The next clearest image in my head is of the moment earlier when the dog got spooked and snapped at Holden’s head. They were playing together gently (hugging in fact) when the dog heard a noise (made by Alec in the other room as he scooted over the scale to weigh our suitcase) and freaked out by biting and clawing to get away. I don’t know whether Holden will have a greater fear of dogs because of the event, but I sure do. He didn’t have to see that scared dog’s face coming at him.

I scooped up the crying child immediately and then we noticed the blood.

I raced him into the bathroom past the mirrors so he wouldn’t see the blood streaming out and we tried to get it under control. “Call 9-1-1″ - “Where’s Milo?” - “Get some ice” — I was barking orders from my perch on the toilet. Alec put Milo in the pack n play then returned every minute with a different configuration of ice and dish towel. I applied pressure with my hands, towels, and my motherly body.

By the time the paramedics joined us, the crying and the blood were greatly reduced. It was still impossible to tell exactly where the wounds were but I could see he had both ears and was acting more like himself. Thank God. Once we were in the ambulance, he was looking around out the window and pointing to cranes and other landmarks. I exhaled and took a couple pictures.

We were treated promptly and carefully by the excellent folks in the Pediatric ER at Suburban Hospital — it was really the fastest service I’ve experienced.

Once we got back to Alec’s folks’ place, the doggie went to camp for the rest of the day and we fed Holden some lunch and put him down for a nap. Adrenaline and anxiety were still coursing through my body, so I aimed Whitney:

12:08:01 PM: Holden was bitten by the family dog while his grandpa was watching him. we rode in an ambulance and went to the ER and missed our flight. we’ll arrive at midnight instead of 6pm. get me the F out of here.
12:08:03 PM: xoxo
12:08:14 PM: oh yeah, in the HEAD in two places.

The unscheduled stop in the ER, swift as the service was, caused us to miss our return flight back to Oakland. We were able to pay extra for a flight change to get on a crappier flight we had paid extra to avoid in the first place. So with head wounds still open, the four of us got on a 9pm flight back to Oakland returning some time after midnight.

I don’t know if I’m really allowed to check this one off but I’m going to.

I had imagined, buying a revealing little dress and wearing it confidently on a special date with my husband.

Instead, my mom bought me this dress that’s totally not my style (in an effort to hide my lingering postpartum chub) and I wore it to my brother’s wedding on the 28th. Once I ditched the nursing bra and the spanx, I was feeling decidedly free and almost sexy!

Here I am framed by my sister and brother striking a pose. I’ll take more moments like these.

July 2007. Like with other things that are hard to get started, the lesson here is: sometimes you just have to tear off a piece of floss and the rest takes care of itself.

Chew on that one. Deep, huh?