I flew from LA to Oakland tonight (by myself!) and saw celebrity rookie mom Brandi Chastain chatting up some soccer fans. She caught my attention because she is super fit, exuberant, and was pushing a jogging stroller in the airport (A BOB Revolution for you stroller junkies).
Chastain’s baby Jaden is 10 months old.
As exciting as seeing say, Kate Hudson or Gwen Stefani? Maybe not, but a nice thrill for a Sunday night regardless.
It’s a very bloggy baby shower this weekend and we’re happy to be invited to share our best tips and advice to one first-time mama (Tammie) and two two-time mamas (Liz and Christina).
Shower games and prizes through tonight at: www.babyshower.mothergoosemouse.com
For the true rookie:
Whitney’s Best advice: Don’t try to make a happy baby happier. A person blissfully staring into space does not need her mother to shake a rattle in her face.
Whitney’s Worst advice: If breastfeeding hurts, you are doing it wrong. I heard this to mean I should keep looking for solutions and visiting lactation consultants and questioning myself, ad nauseum. When I finished nursing 15 months later, I decided I wasn’t doing it wrong.
We both say once the newborn haze of the first month lifts (if not sooner), try to get out of the house every day. See RookieMoms.com for hundreds of ideas how to do that and where to go.
And for the not-so-rookies:
Good luck to you! I’m only two months into this and I still feel pretty raw. But I can’t believe I’m two months into what will likely be my last baby’s babyhood. It goes fast (and yet it still drags on).
My only tip — that I’m still trying to live up to myself with mixed success — is to try to spend at least 30 minutes a day with your older child alone and doing what they want to do. Supposedly, it keeps them from wanting to return the baby after the three-month honeymoon is over.
And if any of you have any bright ideas about keeping yourselves and your babies entertained, let us know!
Of the many fears that Arianna Huffington considers in On Becoming Fearless… in love work and life, the one to which I most relate is “Do I dare speak up?”. The times that I’ve not shared my opinion for fear of being wrong or disliked, are too many to count. I probably could have gotten a lot further in my career if I talked more, but at the time, I assume I’ll be wrong about something and be seen as a naive little girl. I am honestly inspired by Huffington’s words of encouragement. She even calls out that the “naive little girl” role is one that many women cling to at work, offering service and support to others, rather than management. “Can I help you with anything else?” I’m sure I’ve said more times than, “What I’d like you to do is…”
I’m even more moved by her acknowledgment that women especially battle anxiety in many arenas of life; therefore, she has a specific concern as the mother of two girls that her daughters work toward becoming fearless. She does not want them to be stifled or thwarted by fears of not being pretty enough, smart enough, or strong enough. Men, she points out, are usually stimulated and excited by a challenge, while women are more likely to fear failure, or even success. At the start of the book, she gives a wonderful example of how she turned her school-aged daughter’s attitude around by suggesting that the butterflies she felt before a school performance was excitement, not fear.
Because Huffington works and socializes in an elite circle, the anecdotes she shares come from extraordinary and accomplished people, many of whose names we are already familiar with. Little of the book’s contents come from large scale studies or measurable trends. The bulk of it is stories about famous people, including Arianna Huffington herself. The only time this really bothered me is when she points to Jude Law as an example of a man who left his more accomplished fiance for his less accomplished nanny. (Men are not interested in successful women.) Don’t get me started on this. My husband already had to listen to my sociological explanation of why this event is totally irrelevant to anyone and everyone in the world except for Jude, the fiance, the nanny and the children. (Even if Huffington’s right, and men are actually not interested in successful women.)
P.S. Photo of Jude Law provided to keep you reading.
The topics addressed in On Becoming Fearless range from money to love to work to faith. Ultimately, her goal, however is to inspire social change by wrapping the book up with a chapter titled “Fearless about changing the world”. She urges us to volunteer with our families and to combat any fears we may have that problems are too big, we don’t have enough to give, or as in the case of her California gubernatorial run, you may not win.
The last page of On Becoming Fearless provides Arianna Huffington’s Top 10 Tips to Becoming Fearless, including “Use the mirror to make sure your lipstick isn’t smudged, not to judge your value as a person.” This book is easy to read and would be wonderful to share with a friend or relative. (Hint, hint, Mother’s Day gift…)
> Read more reviews from the Mother Talk Blog Tour
> Order On Becoming Fearless from Amazon.com
Although my shopping attention has turned to baby girl’s clothes, with ten weeks to go before I meet my daughter, my husband is still focused on the boy stuff. I’m glad. I was feeling guilty. Last night as we “multitasked” together (this is what marketers call it when you watch TV and browse the Internet at the same time) he showed me shoes he likes for Julian. At $49.95, we decided against them, and turned our attention back to baby girl shopping.
If you like them too, send the link to your mother-in-law.
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This is a paid review of BellyDanceBaby.com. RookieMoms will occasionally post such reviews if we believe they are helpful to our readers, and we will always be honest. That’s what a review is, after all.
Today is the last session of my second time moms’ group. Each of the women in the group has one or more kid at home and a new baby to contend with. I am like these women.
I joined them when Milo was a mere week old so all of the babies were older. Also interesting (to me anyway), Holden was the youngest of all the older siblings too. I felt like a freshman in a room full of upperclassmen. The facilitator asked how do we make sure to get “me” time and I sat there (stupefied and nursing) wondering what that even meant for me.
[Flash back 21 months ago to when I started a new moms’ group with baby Holden…]
I sat there with my four-week old son, completely insecure and in shock with a fairly high degree of certainty about Who I Was. I was (in no particular order):
[Flash forward again to that week, this baby…]
I don’t really know who I am. Do those same words define me? I went back to work part-time after having my first son and not exactly in the same field. I started a website (voila Rookiemoms.com) with my best friend to help other new moms find fun things to do. Heck, am I still even a rookie?
I don’t even know what I want to do if I get some “me” time. I hope I can learn something from these upperclassmen.
I’ve been a little obsessed with cooking and eating lately. The thing is, I’m hungry a lot of the time. And if I can get some food on the table by 6:00, Holden will be in bed by 7:00 which leaves us with the evening to zone out and relax (if you call newborn juggling relaxing).
When I found this article on feeding the freezer from Organizedhome.com, I wanted to save it for myself and share it with you. I’m not quite so organized as all this, but there are some good tips nonetheless.
Related Rookie Moms activities:
Activity #378: Stock your freezer
Activity #347: Make dinner after dinner
Activity #54: Cook and play
… and that reminds me, I’m roasting a chicken in the crock pot today! I think it has to cook for nine hours.
As the four of us walked casually to the Farmer’s Market yesterday, I began to dread that we were already at 90 minutes on the “baby clock” and I was very likely to have to nurse on one of the skeevy benches in downtown Berkeley.
Last time, when faced with the same decision, I opted to sprint home with the double stroller (enduring two blocks of newborn screaming and several more of toddler whining) in order to avoid that same ordeal.
Ahh, but I was in luck yesterday.
Yesterday was not only the Saturday Farmer’s Market, it was also Berkeley’s Earth Day Celebration Extravaganza.
So, we were treated not only to a four-story climbing wall, free strawberries, product giveaways, live dancing, and advice on further greening our lives but also Mom’s Breastaurant (get it?!), a very comfy tent specifically for nursing moms.
Nonie Veccia founded Mom’s Breastaurant so that nursing moms would be able to better enjoy summer festivals and streetfairs without being relegated to hot cars or enduring the sideways glances that we often get. Very cool.
In addition to the comfy chairs for the moms, there is a wee toddler play area and all the free diapers and supplies you could want. Such a great service — if only her tents were set up everywhere I want to be!
Skin care is not high on my list of cares or hobbies. I wash my face with the same soap with which we wash our hands. Occasionally, I wash with something else, if I happen to notice the tube or package in front of me.
I am, however, not above being tempted by a new beauty toy, and inexpensive goodies that promise change and happiness often find their way into my shopping basket at Target. The Dove Skinvitalizer, at about $10.00, is one such product.
It’s a mini massager that turns on easily and can be used safely in the shower. It’s for your FACE! (My husband says “sure it is”.) You stick a little facial cleansing pad on there, and voila, you are scrubbing, exfoliating and massaging your own face. Just like a facial, but way cheaper and without the painful extractions. If you can stick to a routine, you just might see results. I felt like my skin was softer after the second use, but then I returned to my old habits and the *massager* found it’s way into the bath toy box. Julian was obsessed with it for about a month, turning it on and playing with it in the tub.
If you believe in the benefits of exfoliation and massage for the face, give it a try. Otherwise, I’m sure you can find another use for this waterproof, battery-operated, vibrating device.
Last weekend, Julian and I were going to head down to my dad’s house, about 250 miles south of here, via Amtrak. What a perfect adventure for a 2.5 year old boy, and the timing was going to be just right — an 8.20 am departure that would get us in around 1.40 pm. I planned to convince him to nap at noon, and brought his carseat, thinking we’d have a few hours of enjoying the train and then I’d have more than an hour to relax while he slept in strapped-down security.
Ryan drove us to the train station and was going to make sure we got on. I planned to phone my parents when we were a few minutes away and tell them what train car we were in so they could help me get us off the train. I felt proud that I had arranged this situation where all I had to do was sit with Julian on the train for hours. No carrying carseats or strollers for this prego mom!
The whole trip got even more exciting when Linda from FamilyTravelGear.com offered to send me a travel tray to test. The tray arrived in time for the trip, and I saved it, thinking that the novelty of it would buy me a few minutes of peace. And ultimately, the utility of it would allow us to color and play a game called “What’s Missing?” which is where I line up cars and figurines and then ask Julian to close his eyes while I hide one so that he can guess what’s missing.
The travel tray comes in a zipper package that keeps it very compact. It fit easily into my backpack. I was very much looking forward to using it. And we set off for the train station in Emeryville.
Upon arrival, I learned that the train was running 5 hours late and wouldn’t be there to pick us up until 2 pm. It was 8 am. “I’ll take a refund,” I told the ticket agent. The travel tray looked like fun, but not enough fun to entertain us at a train station for 5 hours and then on the train for 5 hours.
I immediately planned in my mind a fun day for Julian that included taking our local public transportation and going to the kid’s play area of our gym. Now Ryan and I faced the task of telling Julian we weren’t getting on a train, but would go instead to our local BArt Train. Even though we hadn’t told him about the train trip until one day before, it was clear that he fully understood and was excited about it. This was the first time ever, that I had to explain to him a disappointment that was beyond my control. He was so sad, in a quiet mournful way, and I felt terrible. “I want to get on that train,” he said. Ryan tried to turn his attention toward the station door to leave. “I want to just look at the train,” Julian negotiated. My heart was broken, too.
We ended up having a nice day, although my parents were disappointed and tried to think up ten different ways to get me to their house before Ryan got home from work. All of them involved me driving at least a few hours, and not being able to man the travel tray as in my fantasy trip.
We did try the travel tray later that day during the long drive, but I concluded that without my sitting next to Julian, he is just too young for it. He wanted it on and off repeatedly, and I couldn’t deal with that from the front seat. He is also unable to use what seem like very handy side-pockets by himself. I put some cars in there for him, but he couldn’t get them in and out without frustration. Linda says that her kids like using it at home, loaded up with snacks for movie time on the couch. Sounds good to me; we simply aren’t at that stage of life yet.
Hopefully, there is another train trip in my future.
It’s fun to sit in my pajamas (alone) and watch my Cozi collage flash by the screen. What’s not fun is to stand with my husband with beads of sweat collecting on my forehead that moment I first realized that this slideshow is made up exclusively of pictures before-Alec… only ex-boyfriends, old trips, and single silliness. In the 30 seconds we watched together, we saw me finishing my first mini triathlon, me and one guy in Paris, and me and another guy on a date. Cozi has to lose a point for that one.
The promise of Cozi Central™ is free software that includes a shared family calendar, lists, quick messages, and a dynamic photo collage that’s accessible wherever you are. In my mind, this means, I use it at home to add appointments or notes to our calendar, and Alec sees them at work, eliminating the need for one of my many short (but informative, in my opinion) phone calls during the day.
Being a geeky list-maker married to a geekier software engineer, Cozi Central sounded like a natural solution to our family’s information management. Unfortunately, for our family, we’re not quite ready for each other.
On the plus side:
But on the down side:
Bottom line: There’s a reason that those ex-boyfriends are exes… though they had many nice qualities, ultimately, I needed the whole package. Cozi has a lot going for it; it’s not them, it’s us.
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This review of cozicentral.cozi.com and Cozi Central™ software console was brought to you by Parent Bloggers and the letter X. RookieMoms will occasionally post such reviews if we believe they are helpful to our readers, and we will always be honest. That’s what a review is, after all.
Our main website is RookieMoms. We are Heather and Whitney. You have reached our blog. We'll be blogging about pregnancy, babies, toddlers, preschoolers and the products that go along with these experiences.
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