Welcome to any new readers!
Whitney and I are just leaving York City from filming a Satellite Media Tour where we got to talk about our book and tips and tricks for rookie (and all-star) moms!
We did about a dozen back-to-back interviews on morning shows — some live and some which will film later — and we can hardly wait to see them and share them with you. That said, watching ourselves on television might be like performing karaoke in public… it’s one thing to have fun while doing it and quite another to be able to see yourself without wincing.
Here are some of the programs we were on:
- Sacramento & Co. on KXTV/ABC with Jodie and Guy (video!)
- Arizona Midday with Destry
- Studio 10 in Tampa WTSP with Jerome Ritchey
- Washington DC, Cable Channel 8
- Daytime Columbus with Gail on WCMH
- Milwaukee with Molly WTMJ
- Atlanta & Company “Finding More Mommy Time” on WXIA with Holly Firfer (video!)
- Cleveland WKYC on Good Company with Andrea (video!)
- Denver, CO KUSA/NBC
- Minneapolis, MN KARE/NBC
- Phoenix, AZ KPNX/NBC
- St. Louis, MO KMOV/CBS with Carol
In terms of just “me” time or “mom” time, it was absolutely amazing. I think it’s the first time we’ve ever been anywhere together (excluding two weddings with dates to Chicago over ten years ago), and definitely the first time just us. We stayed in a cool European-style hotel, ate at restaurants, visited with old friends, and didn’t have to change any diapers!
Thank you to the husbands and parents who made this trip possible!
Our next big adventure will be the BlogHer conference in Chicago, and that’s just a month away. Yeehaw!
I wish we had more details about the whens and wheres of our appearances. Did you see us?
Yes, I realized last week that my clock is ticking but also that I’ve done a few things that I haven’t bothered to report on. Thank God.
This February and March, we did a whole remodel project that added a second bathroom to our house. Pity that it wasn’t on our to-do list but I can add it to the did-do list at least!
88. Paint the office Yay! It went from white to butter and became our bedroom. Like I said, not exactly as I imagined it two years ago, but whatev.
89. Plan a backyard garden and patioPlanned but not executed; looks like that counts for this task!
90. Plant a backyard garden Check! In conjunction with a mother-in-law visit last summer, we built a box garden where there was none and made some beautiful vegetables sprout.
91. Plant a fruit tree or wall of bamboo Wahoo! Also in June 2008, we planted a second lemon tree. The funny (ha ha) thing is that planting a second lemon tree in our backyard finally encouraged the first lemon tree to grow fruit. I guess it was just lonely.
92. Grow tomatoes This is a tricky one. Last June, we planted four kinds of tomatoes, and many grew but NONE of them ripened. A couple weeks ago, we tried again. So technically we did grow them although we ate zero tomatoes.
93. Move to Chicago This one is not currently being pursued. Much to the disappointment of our Chicago friends and East Coast families.
94. Build an upstairs addition on our house Kinda sorta. We are not building UP but we did consider this option and instead built a second bathroom where our laundry room used to be. It’s as done as it’s gonna be. But I can’t really cross it off.
95. Throw a backyard party to celebrate Alec’s last summer birthday barbecue celebrated the birth of our new garden. As well as the introduction of Guitar Hero into our lives.
When I was about to have my rookie baby, Holden, I looked at my friend Susan (going at it for the second time) as though she were a total expert. I thought that I was sooooo special (not true!) and sooooo clueless (true!) and that she had it all figured out.
Well, I have news for my four years-ago self and any of you rookie parents: it’s true that a second-time around mom may be more comfortable with the new baby, but she’s still living on the frontier of how to deal with her older child PLUS she’s got two to juggle and even less time for a nap. So, it’s still kinda a big deal.
If you have any friends about to have second babies and you’re wondering what to get the mom who already has all the baby gear, allow us to make a few suggestions:
- Private Yoga class: prenatal or post-partum yoga where she doesn’t have to figure out how to leave the house = awesome.
- Food train. Enlist a gang of friends to sign up for meals on a calendar. Witching hour times two is no time for cooking.
- Advice book: interview your friends with more than one kid about little and big things. How do you load everyone into the car? How do you get food on the table? What is something you swore you’d never do (that you now probably do)? Useful or not, these are great little keepsakes.
- Forgo the shower and chip in for a massage
- Meal Prep party where mama gets freezer fodder from everyone; there are places (like mygirlfriendskitchen) that can organize this for you.
- Everyone gets a massage
- If different gender, clothes
- If same gender: a fresh towel, wash cloths, onesies that are unstained
- If name known, personalized clothes so that #2 has a few things of his own
- Babysitting dates where other moms of same aged #1 will come get #1 and take him away for a couple hours
- The basics, be the sweetie that buys a full medicine cabinet’s worth of infant tylenol and butt zinc. More excellent gift ideas for new parents on our amazing registry tips.
What are some other great ideas for moms going again for their second, third, or fourth?
psssst. Hey Whit,
You had a “real shower” and it looked like fun. did you like it? Did you wish you had a group massage instead? Shhhh… I won’t tell.
We made it through the Winter like champs. The boys didn’t get sick, I worked my part-time hours. Life as a working mom was as good as it gets (And by “good” I mean that I worked 25 to 30 hours outside of the home for a paying job where people say nice things once in a while, my kids enjoy their preschool situation, I’m responsible for 80% of the cooking and 100% of the laundry, and my husband does a ton to pull his weight at home while also balancing his full-time workload). *
But this Spring has kicked our asses.
Today, one hour after getting to work, I got the call from LOIS. When Lois calls you during the day, it is never good. Best case, she is calling because you forgot a pacifier or a sun-hat, but usually someone is sick. Usually someone needs to be picked up ASAP. Come to think of it, I really ought to give Lois a special ring, like a siren.
This time, it was Milo: crying all morning and 102 degree temperature. I joked that it was her fault, that he was perfect and cheerful when I left him. Lois laughs but I still have to flake on the whole rest of the workday, get back in my car, drive back across the bridge to pick up my sobbing, drooling, bright red kid.
But c’mon kid, we just had a four day weekend! (Yes, four because their school which hardly ever closes and is geared toward working parents had a rare teacher work day).
And last week, it was Holden. Holden had a one day school week (he’s in for all the days, people!) because of a fever that just wouldn’t quit. His temp was between 101 and 102 from Saturday through Tuesday, and because his school (wisely) has a “24 hour rule” (of being symptom- and fever-free), we kept him home Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. This is a great time to mention that my husband, Alec, is a fantastic and equal partner. He stayed home with Holden on Monday and Wednesday because we already knew I’d be home on Friday. Love that man.
The week before it was Milo. He punctuated Mother’s Day with a vomit spree, so I kept him home on Monday.
And, the week before THAT it was Holden again. A high fever, chills, flu-like body aches, and some pink eye right before I had to leave town for a family funeral (my favorite Grandma died, thanks for asking). Another 3-day work week.
Wah wah wah, right? It’s just so flipping hard to be taken seriously as a professional when ever time a kid gets sick, all bets are off!
Today hit me especially hard because I couldn’t reach my husband to see if he’d pitch in and he has a conference tomorrow and Thursday. Did I already mention, “Wah wah wah”? I know I did. I can’t help but feel like a big slacker when I schedule meetings and then have to bail out. I like being efficient and responsible.
So, I just gave Lois and the entire school staff the “ALARM” ring, so next time we get the call, my whole office will know it. And they’ll know it’s real. Right?
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* And don’t get me started in my musings and amazement about how two parents manage to work full time. That is an exploration for another day!
I glanced at my list of things today because I was trying to plan a vacation that I would love inspired by a post by DeliciousBaby’s Debbie. On my list, I have Cuba (still not open), Scotland (ok, maybe), leave the country every year since 2008 (FAIL!), one-month sabbatical (not yet), and a train ride up or down the California coast. The train trip sounds the most easy and practical but also not so fun and sexy. Oy!
At least I have a few other things I can cross off my list and I’m not a total disappointment to myself:
10. Clean out my closet. For real. Done. Purged. In conjunction with my mini home remodel this year, we built an Elfa closet system and cleared out all the crap we don’t wear. Unfortunately, I also got rid of my too-small pants right before losing ten pounds. Oops. But the closet, she is clean!
12. Reach a weight that I am comfortable with and stay there for 3 months Near enough. I lost my Milo baby weight and almost all of my Holden baby-weight. To be honest, when I dipped into “wedding weight” territory, I got nervous and started eating cake. Nice job, me!
26. Fly a kite
We went to the Berkeley kite festival last year and it was super fun. My husband is hot, yes?
I also can’t help but notice that my sporty spice goals are largely undone; is that because I don’t care about them lately or because I put them there because I was trying to be someone I’m not?
So, I will keep staring at this list off and on of my 101 things to do in 280 more days even though my ambition has totally waned and my priorities are not terribly aligned, because I love me some lists!
We have an excellent little potty chair. That’s not the problem. We have a very useful (and much easier to clean!) toilet seat insert chair-topper as well. Also not the problem.
The problem is that you can lead a kid to the toilet, but you can’t make him pee.
Shortly before having Milo, when Holden was about 18 months old, we introduced the little potty chair to the bathroom to see if he had any interest on his own. I think that very first day (or maybe the second), he peed in it. We were shocked and amazed and hurt our arms patting ourselves on the back. But it was not to be repeated for a long time.
Fast forward a few months. We introduced a newborn into the house and I found myself saying things like, “you’re wearing a diaper, use it.” Now the kid is two years old, he knows what the potty is for, but he doesn’t really care to use it. Alec and I each spent 20 to 30 minutes at a stretch sitting on the bathroom floor not pressuring Holden while he sat there and Did Nothing.
Fast forward a few more months. He started a preschool — luckily not one that requires potty training — and I let them take the reins for a while. I expected that the communal mini-toilets and the peer pressure of his little buddies would do the job where I had failed. I was partly right.
The preschool did about 97.5% of the job for us, but it still took most of the year. At each diaper change, his teachers would give him the choice of diapers or undies (or sometimes both). I think he liked figuring it out on his own. This is around when I created the sticker chart. I was afraid that bribing with candy would send the wrong message (his teacher told me, “you don’t get candy when you use the toilet, so why should they?”) so I used a combination of stickers and new toys. Then again, I don’t get stickers or toys when I go to the bathroom…
I made the chart (I tried to do it with him but he kept putting his decorations in the wrong places and negating the logic that I invented) and awarded one star sticker for peeing in the potty, two star stickers for pooping in the potty, and then one large Thomas sticker when he got to the large spaces on the chart. For each large sticker earned, Holden could also choose a (not-very-expensive) toy.
Some days he would fly through earning stickers. He earned two little Thomas vehicles for the train table before we all lost interest in my his sticker chart.
Round about his third birthday — when we had already given up and were content to have two in diapers for the rest of our lives — Holden declared he was “done with diapers.” I remember being quite terrified the first time we went to a restaurant and he was in undies, like he was a ticking time bomb. The question was when and not if he would pee all over the place. I’m relieved to report that he did not urinate all over a restaurant, but I did carry him several times to the restroom for false alarms.
As for training the next kid… we just dragged out our little potty chair to see if Milo has any curiosity. Nope. And he’s already at the preschool where they have those adorable mini-toilets. Plus he has an older brother who can pee in a toilet standing up. If all that’s not motivation, I may just bust out the M+Ms. Talk to me in about a year when I start to panic.
Related posts:
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My jaunt down memory lane was brought to you by the Parent Bloggers and Huggies Potty Project. Did you know there’s a NightTime version of Pull-ups? There is! Don’t be a tool like I was and go to Target 4 different times and come home with the wrong ones. And if you do, don’t be extra stupid and open the package every time before double-checking. Focus on the NightTime and your size.
